well i havent been on here on a very, very long time...but i guess i have to put my thoughts into words that i can share with others that can relate...as much as i love my boyfriend and family..most dont really understand, until they experience it first hand...("its only hair"...yea ok!..).....so i have scarring alopecia...within the 2 years it had gotten really bad and grew very fast within a couple months. More than likely it was due to stress, which in turn inflammed the alopecia and caused weight loss...(weight loss was definitely not a bad thing tho! :-) ) so the area of scarring started to get "uncoverable"..and TOO MANY PPL...STARTED NOTICING!!.so i started wearing the lace wigs...i was so happy to finally wear something that covers it all in full (weaves would hurt my scalp with the braiding and thread), yet still look natural.. so a year or so passes by...im content..but right now im taking swimming/scuba lessons ..i didnt want to keep on wearing the lace wigs in the water..and my hair is wet underneath...etc...
so i went and purchased a shoulder length wig, its about the length of my natural hair use to be before the scarring started spreading rapidly...i realized a couple of things while wearing this wig

1. what a relief to not deal with glue! or tape! ugh yes...!
2. how easy it was to wear a regular wig...thats natural looking...
3. this wig compliements me..bc it looks like the ole..me...
4.....the biggest thing i realized is the SADNESS...of not having my natural hair out in this exact similar style...its just hurts so badly...everyday i realize, its not that bad...there are worse things that i or we as individuals have to deal with...but looking in the mirror...with the regular ole wig..is just a reminder of the original me...of 2 years ago...

so i guess i have this love of being able to wear other options like the lace wigs..or the regular ole fashion wigs...love to look like my old ORIGINAL SELF...
but hate (at times)...the glue, the tapes, the painful scalp, the wigs
you dont realize the good and bad of anything until the "normalities" of your life "changes" ever so ofter...
sad and happy at the same time....

sad that my option isnt my own hair
but happy that i have options....