Just started seeing someone who is suffering early stages of Alopecia

Hello all,

I have just started seeing someone who is suffering from early stages of Alopecia, he is late 20's and I am early 20's. It gets him down quite a lot and I can see that he is saddened that he is losing his hair, he sometimes mentions it as a deflection when I tell him I think he's a very handsome man. We've only known each other for under a month but I just want to know the best way to support him and how to let him know that to me, he is just wonderful with or without his hair.

Sometimes I struggle to know what to say to help him feel better. I also find it difficult to gauge how much he wants to speak about it or involve me in it. So I tend to not pry, but I also don't want him to feel like I don't want to know or listen.

Any words of advice would be hugely appreciated.

Thanks!

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Permalink Reply by Alo-mom on May 29, 2018 at 2:38pm

To be honest, I do not think there is anything you can say to wipe away the hurt and pain of Alopecia. It is something that folks need to gain the strength within. However, I applaud you for caring enough to find this site and write. Look deep within yourself and ask yourself how would you like to be treated. Continue to care about him and let him know, when the time is right that you like him for himself and you will talk as much or as little as he wants about this topic. It has been my experience that folks with alopecia are living with it and do not need to discuss it all the time. They are simply trying to process this all. You just being there is a form of support. Hang in there with that person and know that you are a very kind person and that many of us out here admire you. 

Permalink Reply by TARA49 on June 3, 2018 at 4:55am

I would say that he would appreciate you really understanding it as a medical condition, nothing he has done or is guilty of. What I'm trying to say is that I find it hard to talk about the cosmetics and emotional trauma of mine but I can easily talk about it as a disease and discuss the medical side of things. And of course tell him that theres more to him than hair, it's just hair, and he's sexy. 

You sound lovely by the way, so if he's lost his hair but found you, then I'd say he's a winner.

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