I have been married for 34 years & I'm separated from my husband. I believe he's unable to get past my appearance. I'm contemplating divorce. He never tells me that I'm attractive. I never thought that being an alopecian would ruin a marriage of 34 years. At this time in my life I am happy and I am in tune with myself. What I want to know is this, "Are there men out there that can get past the hair phobia and give unconditional love? ". Am I asking for too much?
Sweetly free

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What a horrible thing to happen to you especially after 34 years. This piece of crap disease .

Coming from a male prospective , It would be better to seek a partner who has or have had alopecia themselves. There is a much higher chance of them being more caring and understanding over someone who has never had it before.

I appreciate a male sharing his point of view.  Thank you for the advice of partnering with an alopecian. I truly hope that you don't allow Alopecia destroy your life. 

YES - it is possible. There are men and women out there who are truly not shallow and will say, "Who cares?" - not that they don't care but that it doesn't BOTHER them at all. I know.I have met a few, including my fiance 

Thank you Laura for your response to my concern. There is a hope that I have that same experience that you are enjoying.  I am free with the way I look. I just want a loving partner. 

Hi, so sorry to hear! There are lots of people out there who love for all. Gal that headed support group I went to said, said after she did online dating profile bald she got over 200 interests!! With last guy I dated he just said oh and that's kind cool you can change way you look with, wigs etc. I hope you realize you are beatiful and lovable as everyone else!! Someone isn't right for you if they 'can't get over' & shows are really not supportive if something serious were to happen. Wish you all the best!


I think dating is tough...relationships are a work in progress all the time.  People move emotionally, they change...and not always for the better.  I have no idea what has made your husband feel it is ok not to be supportive of you in this situation, but I would point out to him how horrendous this type of behaviour is....then work on fully knowing how much more you are worth!

My daughter has had two long term relationships...neither ended because of a lack of hair.  She is currently in the dating scene once again.  She has been rejected because of her lack of hair....(for me that means she has dodged a bullet), not to say rejection is pleasant, but that type of rejection does show you who the person is.  She has also met some lovely men that fully know that she has no hair, and for them it doesn't mean a thing...she is more than her hair and they innately know that, because she knows that.

Dating is putting yourself out there...and let's face it that hard..being vulnerable etc.  It is courageous in many ways, as those that do put themselves out there are risking being rejected etc etc...but knowing that you have so much to offer...so much more than lack of hair...is how I would go forward.

Good luck with everything and have fun.


Thank you, Rosy! Your insight is full of light. I'm 60 years old. The rejection was overwhelming at first. I began to understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He has not been supportive or truly able to give me compliments on my appearance because he didn't see beauty. He saw illness, in spite of the 34 years I invested in him. 

Oh my! I wouldn't know what to do first with 200 interests. LoL Lea, thank your for the compliant. I have been neglected for so many years not ever receiving compliments that weren't coerced. I know that it is definitely my appearance, because I see how he looks at other women. I have never confronted him. But, now that I'm separated from him, I feel beautiful from the inside out. 


I would believe in your 60 years you have lived a life full of ups and downs...the thick with the thin.... and moved on.  I don't know you, but I do know for sure that you are someone that is worth knowing...now put that out there.  

oooooh my goodness....200 interests. :)


My opinion is Sir Paul McCartney married Heather Mills, a lovely looking woman who is an amputee, Brad Pitt married the beautiful Angelina Jolie after her elective mastectomy... So if successful talented men like this can see past medical conditions that alter appearance then a regular guy needs to frankly 'man up' and see the bigger picture when they look for a partner.

A real man will not give a damn.
Thanks Debs! I agree, even though it's difficult to comprehend why he,'s so shallow.
Hey, Rosie! You are on point. This is the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new
one. Thanks Rosie! I will wear my survival badge proudly.;-)



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