Where acceptance is all there is
I have pretty no hair anywhere my only pride and joy were my eyebrows which grew back after steroid injections 2 years ago with full regrowth in 2 weeks. In the past few months they have all fallen out again. I no longer feel human..
I am so sorry to hear that alopecia is affecting you in such a negative way. It is a difficult condition to live with and you're in the right place to discuss this with people who really do understand.
From what I a aware of, the steroid injections can be very hit or miss as to whether or not they work but have you considered having your eyebrows semi-permanently tattooed by someone better? I know the first bad experience may have put you off but there are some really amazing practitioners out there. I hated losing my eyebrows and felt like an alien but I am really pleased with my eyebrow tattoos and I have seen some great ones on others too.
If the feelings of wanting to end things are persistent then I would also strongly advise you to see a doctor. I've suffered depression due to having bi-polar disorder and these types of thoughts can get so out of control and unmanageable so I must urge you to seek help and remember you are not alone in any of this xxxx
Thank you for your kind words Lyndsey.
Last time my eyebrows came out I went into hospital. The lady who did my tatoo before has completely ruined everything I'm reluctant to get it lasered off because there's a good chance it can destroy the hair follicles so Its like i'm in a prison.
Im just so sick and tired of all this Lyndsey , im sick of worrying , im sick of people staring at me, im sick of being laughed at , im sick of how I feel about myself, im sick of looking like some weird alien, i'm sick of seeing hair fall out and be terrified of it falling out again. I can't accept it and I will never accept it even after 10 years I have never accepted it. This is not who I am.
To make matters worse my girlfriend doesn't even know I have alopecia. Everytime we've been together I've worn a hair system and she lives about 3 hours away from me, it was fine because I had eyebrows. Now she's coming in a few weeks and I'm terrified she's going to dump me.
I will be seeing my doctor soon I will tell him about these thoughts I am getting.
I think you should definitely tell your doctor as you do sound very low right now, and again I'm so sorry you are struggling. I saw you're in the UK, me too! There are some great support groups, have you ever thought of going? They helped me a lot.
Were the tattoos done as semi-permanent make-up? If so they should be starting to fade and maybe you could speak to a better practitioner about correcting what's already there rather than laser treatment first. A good one will see you for a consultation with no strings attached so going for a chat won't tie you in to anything, it's always worth a go?
I know it sounds cliché but if your girlfriend really cares about you as a person, it won't bother her. You deserve to be with someone who loves you how you are. Most people are actually very understanding. I was really worried when my hair started falling out for the second time, as I had started my first serious relationship since regrowth from the first time. As an 18 year old male I did not expect my boyfriend to be understanding and was sure he would dump me but he didn't. He was so lovely about it all and it didn't bother him at all. We are still together 6 years and 2 more alopecia episodes later. He doesn't care how I want to present myself, in a wig, bald, whatever and it is amazing to have someone who loves you that way. You won't know for sure until you speak to your girlfriend and only you can be the best judge of her character but it will only hurt you and possibly her in the long run for you two not to have an honest and open relationship.
Sending you hugs and thoughts at this rough time xxx
Hang in there man and fight through this. You can do it. You're not alone and you can come here anytime for help. I do recommend you talk to a doctor about how you feel. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was 19 years old when it first started happening to me and now I am still just 21. It is not an easy process but I have tried to find different outlets to make me happy such as exercising, nutrition, trying new things, traveling. I have found other ways to find happiness. Don't get me wrong, there is not a day I don't think about not having hair or get sad about it. It's totally normal. I am just simply recommending that you find some things that you never thought you would do and go after them. You will surprise yourself and find a new sense of happiness. Don't give up, you would not have gotten alopecia if you could not handle it. It is tough but it will make you a stronger person inside and out. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything at all.
Hang in there =(
You are more than your outer self. I know it sounds lame but you are. Your purpose is much more than your physical being. I have had AU since May 2011 because of medical infusions and other meds for Crohns disease that I developed in 2007. I have no hair either, and the meds gave em brain lesions and on top of that I was hospitalized for two months, colon removed in emergency surgery, have an ileostomy now, no longer a teacher after 15 years and still trying to beat these diseases...BUT...I am here, I am alive I can play with my animal companions, hug my partner, tell people I loved them, laugh, smell the air, and smile into the sunshine. I have eyelashes again but like you they are my pride, I do everything I can to get regrowth I try not to live in fear of losing them but fear creates more issues. Try to go to silent, again I know sounds weird but go there and listen really listen to yourself and ask "who am I?" do this daily and see if it helps. Each day someone gives me the "concerned look" or tells me how they are a cancer survivor and tells me I can do it... I just smile now and embrace their kindness....at least they care =) I take methotrexate a cancer drug, I too almost died from the crohns, I know how it feels to have no hair, or lose your profession so we are all one just different experiences. PLEASE talk to someone or find a group if it is to much on your own but honestly knowing who you are and that you are more than your body will be the first of many steps to travel. I wish you much love and light.
What you are feeling is understandable but I feel has got to a point where you need to seek professional advise. It is not ok to feel like ending things....that is not healthy for you.
Please seek professional advise as even though this site has some very caring people, nobody is trained with regards to the serious concerns you are having.