Dotty and BrettMy name is Dotty, I am age 43, and I lost my hair after a very traumatic experience. In retrospect, losing all my hair is nothing compared to finding out that the man I married molested my daughter. I put the monster in jail and tried to be strong.

I started noticing small patches of hair missing in October 2001. The patches increased in size and quantity, and by February 2002 I had lost most of the hair on the top of my head.

I wore a bandana for a while and at least looked “normal” to everyone else. I also tried a whole gambit of medical treatments, including chiropractic and naturopathic medicine, to no avail.

In the meantime, waking up each morning with a pillow full of hair and seeing huge clumps of my hair in the drain every time I took a shower was too much for me to take. So, I decided it would be better for me to shave off what little hair I had left and wear wigs.

It took me a few months to get used to wearing them and realizing that nobody was staring at me. At that time, I had been dating a man for about three years and he decided to wait until I was completely bald to tell me he did not want to see me anymore. His timing was terrible, of course, and I was devastated.

So there I was: A 39 year old bald woman! I did not like to look in the mirror as I hated the way I looked. How was anyone ever going to love me again? Who was going to want to deal with that?

I returned to the dating scene, telling the men up front about my hair loss. Most of them said that it did not bother them, but it really did, and they did not call back. That is, until I met Brett.

I met him online through a mutual friend, and I made sure she told him that I was bald. He said, “Hair has nothing to do with how a person is inside, and that’s what’s important!”

And he meant it. He is a wonderful man who loves me for the person I am and not my outward appearance. He loves my daughters like they are his own, and I love my 12 year old stepson dearly. It has been almost four years since I met him; we married on August 20, 2006, and are now all one big happy family.

I have not had any signs at all of my hair returning, but I am truly happy. I have also accepted my beautiful bald head. In fact, I tattooed it! I did this so that I would stand out and people would ask questions. I take that opportunity to educate them about alopecia and assure them that I do not have cancer (which is the first assumption people make).

People will always stare, but I gave them something cool to stare at. I like the reactions I get. I have even been seen in the neighborhood with pink or purple hair from time to time.

I hope my story inspires other people with alopecia and helps them realize that even bald women can live happily ever after. I also hope that more alopecians can stand up and be proud of who they are. I am still me, hair or no hair!

I have become very active in promoting alopecia awareness. In fact, September is Alopecia Awareness Month! I am also an assistant manager of an online support group for alopecia sufferers. The online support groups are the reason that I have come so far in my acceptance of this dreadful disease. My next crusade is trying to get the insurance companies to cover wigs.

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Dotty I so got tears in my eyes reading this! Why? Because I know exactly how you feel, I am still there myself being single and knowing that I have not found that one man who has the acceptance for me. I am so happy that you found yours and have such blessed happiness in your life now. You are definitely an inspiration to me!
Mari
Great story! So inspirational to know that there are men who see beauty in different ways. I know way too many guys who list "long hair" as one of a woman's best features. Years ago I wouldn't have cared either way, since I had one of the thickest heads of hair in the world, but now that it's thinning out so much, I do care! I'm so happy for you that you're with a wonderful man who loves you for you. I'm sure the rest of us can find that too if we maintain happy hearts and beautiful souls.
One of my biggest fears with this whole hair loss nonsense was that my dreams of having a family and a successful career would be crushed. My opinion is slowly changing and in fact, I'm reading that more and more men really do find bald women sexy! It's just in how we carry ourselves.
Thanks for writing this! It brightened my day.
Alexandra
What an inspiring story! I'm happy to here that there are men out there that can still appreciate true beauty. I'm married, and my husband is doing his best, but I'm not sure he's accepted me as I am yet. I just have to be patient and wait and see. I wish you even more happiness!
Alex
Hi Dotty

Your a star that shines very brightly in my family an inspriration and a friend. Dotty you're the best.

Rosy(Narns)
Dotty your story is very inspiring and you are an inspiration to others. You have helped me over the year to help Samantha..Thank you for the wonderful person you are..Can't wait to meet you..Cindy

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