Hi Everyone, for the last few years I tried to be strong. Even knowing I'm losing my hair I tried to be brave. I'm 33 and living in the Middle East. I bought a very expensive wig online (big mistake) it looked beautiful and it is, vigin hair and unbelievable quality however I'd is slightly too small and just doesn't sit right. So I pulled out the last of my savings and bought another one in person, it's beautiful too, much cheaper, not as great of course. Anyway I had long stringy hair balding on the crown, I used topik coloured powder to hide it. Came home and pulled a semi Brittany Spears, I chopped my hair off into a very short style. I held onto long hair because I felt it have me my femininity, silly I know but. Anyway, I have been wearing my wig to work for three days, it was harder than I could have ever imagined. Not only do I get deep pain in my chest when I think someone notices its a wig but the wig also hurts, it gets hot and makes my scalp itchy. Its heavy and tight on my war. I have as headaches at the end of the day. So today I cried like a baby, sobbed until I couldn't anymore. Slumped in the corner I three my wig off. I'm so blessed that I'm healthy and everything else works okay, but it's so freaking flaking hard. Please any advice on how to wear a wig or anything x thank God I still have my humour. Apologies for any bad spelling I am using my phone for this.

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Unbelievable..I'm confused for your experience of hair wigs.Is that a wig made from 100% human hair? and I wonder whether it was designed correctly or not.

It is designed correctly from what I gather,made in Italy. Yes it is 100% human hair. Its long so it gets heavy and my scalp gets itchy and hot after a few hours. The parts just above my ears are slightly tight to keep the wig on. But day 4 and its not as bad as yesterday, however I took off the wig grip and that seemed cooler. What is your experience? Was it so comfortable from the word go? Perhaps maybe you can give me an idea of what type of wig you use? Glue or tape? Short hair or long hair.I would assume each person has their own experience.

I truly know how you feel. I guess I was lucky, I literally grew up in wigs, having lost my hair by 7 years old. Wow, what a strange disease this is... I think you will get used to it, eventually. Its a toleration thing. You will come to hold your beautiful head high, and if people look, they look. I've struggled for YEARS, and when someone asks me who does my hair, because in their eyes, its beautiful, I kind of chuckle inside. I used to lie and make up a name at, of all places, JCPenney salon! (But when I'd see that person later with horrible hair, I felt bad and quit...)you are strong, you can do this!

Hi Theresa
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I have slowly started getting used to my wig thank goodness. Had a hectic day the other day it came off by accident. I can laugh about it now but for sure I was in years at the time. Have you used a wig grip? Its a band, I find it's cooler than a scarf.

Have a lovely day

Im curious is it an all swiss lace base or vacum, perhaps u should try an absorbent substance before you put the unit on since your scalp becomes itchy and hot

I cut my hair shorter and now use just a wig grip no cap. This seemed to help. Funny enough I think time to adjust was all that was truly needed.

This all gets better, I promise, and you're not alone in having those days that end in sobbing and ripping off your hair.  But you'll have fewer of those before long.  

You might see if a wig professional can "let out" the too-small unit?  It is absolutely heartbreaking when you have your heart set on "salvation hair" and it doesn't always work to plan, especially if you pay a lot, which is pretty much every piece of hair I have ever bought.  But even "dream hair" has a breaking in period before it settles.  That said, there just is a semi-expensive learning curve when it comes to wearing hair, it seems.

Is there any stretch to the cap on the too-small unit?  Mine all stretch out sooner or later in one direction or the other (and I'm hard on them - wear a longer length and break all the dang rules about what you should and should not do in your hair, synthetic or human).  You might wear the too-small one around the house for a while to see if it has some give?  Also, I've notice by mistake that if you get the elastic wet via putting it on too soon after a shower or sweating profusely in it, the elastic will give more.  

I have learned in 3 years that with caps, size really does matter, and after wrestling around with all sorts of conundrums, finally measured my shaved head and found it to be petite (never would have guessed!).  

Getting a good, secure fit will do wonders for your confidence.  A lot of us probably go through that horrible phase early on where you think that everyone looking at you is thinking "That's not her real hair!" but usually, people are too busy thinking about themselves.  ;-)  Early on, I was giving a presentation in front of 200 people when I decided to take off my jacket, a hair caught in the button, and I felt the entire thing shift on my head - that was horrifying, but in reality, it didn't move that much at all.  

I was like you in growing my natural hair long while it got thinner and thinner on top, then thought I would graduate to toppers, which work for some, but just did not jive with my hair.  On a trip out of town went to a shop where I tried on wigs for the first time and the improvement was so remarkable that the decision was made.  While I was there, I walked outside into the bright sunlight to look in the mirror (yup, still looked good) and asked a group of total strangers walking past if they could tell I was wearing hair.  They were either Oscar-worthy actors or were truly amazed that the unit I had on was not my real hair, so sold and sold!  

Started out braiding my natural hair back and using clips on the white-girl cornrows, but my hair was so slick this didn't always hold, even with gel, hair wax, etc.  Tried a combo of clips and "It Stays" for the front lace, but it did not stay for me.  There was a lot of slipping and sliding over my fine, slick hair, and that did NOT build confidence.  

Did a phase of tape over my natural hair, which yanked out a lot of hair. and still had a slip-slide kind of thing going on, plus a layer of bio hair under a wig can be hot and itchy.  

About a year ago, finally took the plunge with the razor.  Started with baby steps - just razored off my tape points, and found that the hold was SO much better that I finally shaved it all, minus a perimeter.  I won't lie - the total shave was hard, really, really hard and shocking to see yourself without any hair.  I saved what I shaved off in a ziplock bag, which was a pitifully small amount (dunno why, it wasn't like I was going to glue it back on, but there was something sacrilege about just trashing it).

The bare head was a bizarre sensation for the first time!  I had monotops with wefts and could feel the breeze so easily all over, which was a little unsettling, but this summer was a hot one and was so much more bearable without so many levels of "insulation" on my head.   Used tape on the perimeter and lace front, and found it was loose in the top now that I didn't have a layer of braids.  Sometimes a few stitches here and there can pull it in where you need it or you can tape the crown.  

When I'd tape, I'd usually tape for a week, which meant taking precautions when sleeping (silk pillowcase, better outcome if you pincurl or secure with a net).  Synthetic "sleeps" a whole lot better than human for me, but add some time into your schedule to defrizz those ends with every wash.  A steamer usually works best, and there are some "miracle" silicone products that seem to help restore shine (oddly, it seems the worse they smell the better they work).  

Some tapes disagreed with my chemistry and produced a very odd odor.  Not to scare you with that, but just keep trying different brands until you find one that works.  You can buy multi-packs from some companies to try out different styles/brands. 

Just recently graduated to adhesives, which I'd avoided because of the mess, but am somewhat sold on because of how dang secure they are.  Bought the Walker Great White (I think that's what it's called) and it seems pretty manageable.  

Bought a Louis Ferre all hand-tied stretch lace that I spent hours and hours coloring (hard to find the right color blonde + roots) and it turned into a holy mess of knots on first washing, so went back to synth while Miss Louis had a few months of resting with a ton of Argan oil.  She came back out of retirement, and with a few mods to cap and hair (took up some bulk in the back, snipped split ends, trimmed split ends on the returns) and a lot of TLC (how much oil/silicone can a head of hair absorb?!), she's starting to look a little less witchy.  She always looks good when I leave the house, but air conditioning and such can still make her anxious and frizzy. 

My crying over hair has reduced by at least 1000% in three years, and yours definitely will, too, as you learn what works and what doesn't.  You're not alone - there are so many more of us out here than you imagine, and so many good souls who've shared their secrets to making things work.  

As far as the itch - that's a hard one.  I've found it helps having a happily conditioned scalp (but not too conditioned or nothing will stick!) helps, since you're essentially exfoliating often if you're shaving.  Scalp protector helps if you use tape or adhesives.  You might try the bamboo cap as an in-between layer, but I've read varying reports on how well they fit.  I hated the feel of a cap and never used one, bamboo or otherwise.  

Also, as you ease into wearing hair, you'll think about it much less, be overall more settled, and probably notice it a lot less and your scalp will get used to it, too.  Did you wash the second unit before you wore it?  Sometimes they arrive with coatings from the manufacturer that might irritate your skin. 

That said, I still have some days when it feels like "GET THIS OFF ME, NOW!"  

Sorry for the long, long post, but I do want you to know we've all had lots of challenges and a lot of us have overcome them to be happy hair wearers with confidence, and you will, too. 

I do think "hair angels" exist, because every time I've become very impatient with the time investment and hassle of wearing hair, someone tells me it looks great, and I think back to how long it had been since I heard that when I was wrestling with the massive hair drop in my bio hair.  Plus I spend a lot less time styling, even with contrary Miss Louis, than I ever did with my bio hair.  

There are better days ahead.  Read forums like these, watch YouTube vids, watch Patti's Pearls videos (can I recommend that without it being an endorsement violation?  I learned a lot from Miss Patti).  Getting a secure fit and a nice front hairline will make all the difference in your confidence.  

When you have a good hair day, take a selfie and keep it nearby for the days you feel like crying.  That's not vanity, that's keeping your sanity.  

Hang in there - you have some awesome hair days ahead of you, and so, so, so many options for having great hair now without wrestling with your own!  

I am truly blown away by your kindness. I absolutely loved reading your story. Or have me so much hope. You really are so good to go into so much detail.

I am using a wig grip under my lace front it seems to hold of I'm just at the office and not doing anything crazy, like running. I've slowly gotten very used to it. I still struggle with the worry that people now know. But I'm sure with time that will ease. You are so brave and I will say that at least we are not alone.

I should set up a Tinder for alopecia sufferers and we could all meet for coffee and discuss our woes. One thing for sure it makes one stronger, possibly more than ever imagined.

Thank you again!

K

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