Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by tamgirl on March 22, 2008 at 5:29am

Hi Susan

I understand how you feel, when i was a teenager i suffered from a depression as well. For me it was due to alopecia and a lot of other factors in my life.
I came out good, it took a while though.
Dont hurry yourself and compare yourself to others, try to find your own you and try to accept her, step by step. Like some already wrote to you, try to see some lil positive things and thank for them when your in bed, before you go to sleep.
Its a way to train yourself.
If you cant deal alone, dont be ashamed to ask help.
I think your on the right path though, you told your story here and that is a big thing.

Take care and take your own time to lick your wounds and pain, sometimes we take bold steps and forget that we need to go to a grief proces and that you cant hurry that. Its a mix of ghosts of the past and fears for today and the future. Tears are the washing machine for the soul, so its ok to cry and grief and feel anger.. dont push it away and feel numb. The sun is shining for you to

all my love for you

Tam

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Permalink Reply by merita hinnant on May 15, 2008 at 8:30pm

i know the place u are at cause i have been there too; but since discoverying these people on this web site , i am begining to come out of it; just being able to talk to people that know exactly what i feel and what u are going through; listen to them they have some good ideas on coping.

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Permalink Reply by Rachel on June 12, 2008 at 12:35am

Well Susan, we all have our half-crazy ways of getting through, but we all seem so muddle through and come out ok. It takes time. Some days it feels like you have a knife in your chest and can't find a place for your anger. Others, you want to hide. My suggestion is that you take it one day at a time. If you feel like a floating turd one day, do something special - if you don't want to go out, order something online - I think its the best waiting for something to come in the mail. A treat to say "good job" another day towards being ok.

My long red hair has been gone for over a year now, and I am still bitter about it and feel horribly ugly some days. I know I am not ugly, and neither are you. Its just that our image of ourselves is changing on the outside, so our brain is lagging behind in the adjusting in my opinion. But you know what, everyone has bad days, and as you go along the bad days get farther apart.

But like many people say, we've been in a similar place to where you are, so please don't hesitate to just say hello or ask for a movie suggestion or anything! Hey, I tried trapeze and love it. I HATE the mirrors and hate wearing my hair in the studio, so they were kind enough to mount them so they can cover them when I am there. So stay active, even if its little steps.

Hugs!

Rach

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Permalink Reply by Crowned Regal on June 24, 2008 at 6:13am

Lots of vital points made in the above posts to say the least. Yes, alopecia and depression are two different diseases, however I've met and spoken to many with alopecia who have a co-existance of both, including myself. The important thing is that neither have to own you, you have choices to help you deal with either disease and can overcome them. Don't give up the things you love to do in life for anything. You can still live the most joyously wonderul life with or without hair. I was in a very dark place at one time but now since understanding the choices available to me, seizing the opportunities and seeking help, many beautiful blessings have come emerged in my life. Put the cards on the table with your feelings, be honest with yourself about your feelings and connect with others like you...the other good stuff will follow.

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Permalink Reply by Yvonne~Yhoney on June 27, 2008 at 12:05pm

Susan,
You have many things to celebrate, the weight loss is a big thing and I want to commend you on that! After reading your discussion and all of the others words of inspiration and camaraderie, all I can add is...we are all kindred spirits here to help and love each other with healings for the spirit. Don't ever think you are alone in this, we all have our up and down days and we all are here for you.

Yes, you are grieving...a lot of parts of you did change and drastic changes can be hard to face all at once, but you can re-birth your spirit with self love and acceptance, you are a totally different person now. And you are much much stronger than you know!

Please never stop loving yourself...write it on a piece of paper and place it on the side of your mirror if you have to: ”I am still me!" & "I Love Me!"

We have so many accessory options as women, you don't have to look at it as hiding a secret...just accessories your look and own it as yours.
~Yvonne

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Permalink Reply by Dave on June 30, 2008 at 5:55am

Hi, Susan. I too am on Wellbutrin. Oddly, my hair loss started before I got on it (right before). I looked up some medical information (for me as well as you because your story sparked some curiosity). It turns out that the those sites Ive visited have said that hair loss is tied to most anti-depressants and it is a reaction to a change in body chemistry while the meds are being adjusted. They also say that once the medicines are stabilized, it should slow or stop altogether, if not, it could be a thyroid problem (which could contribute to the depression) and that may have to be adjusted as well. If you have depression, I wouldnt stop the meds. That secret you speak of, I know how it feels. BUt believe me, it will indeed pass. Depression is a terrible illness, and is BY FAR more important than hair loss in my opinion, but I can also understand how losing your hair can add to it. Since dealing with both issues, my hair loss has stabilized and so has my depression. SO can yours. Dont give up. Were here for you.

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Permalink Reply by Susan on August 4, 2008 at 9:12pm

Im coming back to this a little late, but thanks alot for checking this for me (and you).
Im not taking any medicine right now for fear of causing more shedding. My depression is directly linked I think to my hair loss. It sheds and sheds and drives me insane. Im slowly coming to realize that no matter what, my life will go on. Maybe not as I planned, but it will be as great as I make it. :) At least thats what I keep telling myself. Say a little prayer for me.

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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey...... Don't you wish your boyfriend was bald like me on July 14, 2008 at 5:00pm

Hi Susan,

I hope this finds you well.
Did you go back to the Dr or to another one to help you with your depression?

Jeff

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Permalink Reply by Susan on August 4, 2008 at 9:09pm

No, Im too scared to try any medicine. I just take one day at a time.......

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Permalink Reply by Bogie on August 4, 2008 at 11:54pm

Well, Susan, I went to your profile to see who you were, and I was amazed by your great photos and nice eyes...can't believe you ever weighed 100 pounds more! So, with that said plus your mention of your great family, I'd say you have more than many women in the world. As to the alopecia, what I relate the sadness to is the fact that we have lost a body part and are grieving the loss. We grieve other losses in life, so why not this? And, we may have to relive the grieving every time there is regrowth and loss again, so we have some of the issues that cancer remission patients have, but we have the advantage of knowing that we should live for many years. It may take awhile, but the sports thing will probably clear itself up (a female Olympic swimmer with AU was at the 2000 NAAF conference, swimming bareheaded in the hotel pool with all the adoring little girls, and the Barcelona Olympic volleyball player got support when his whole team shaved their heads to make him feel included. The games went on...PUBLICIZED!) The keeping-it-a-secret part sucks, but once you don't give a d_ _ _ about The Others and can relax in the safety of your own family unit and friendships, then it almost becomes a challenge to others and an opportunity for strong comebacks from you. Read comments here from Carol in Canada...she is really strong. Also, I started a blog on Comebacks for Wisecracks that I am hoping will build. Read all the options...Frank and Mary just put one video on here about scarves, and others discuss hats and wigs. You may find something you like even better than your old hair. I haven't had long braids since elementary school, or natural long-but-thin hair since age14, but I have played with a lot of options and colors since. I'd say play up those nice eyes of yours with a great style, and bask in the love of your family. Grieving stages aren't all solved overnight, but as you step gingerly through this, have a little fun with your look, too. Get exotic, romantic, frisky...anything that is fun. This might be hard on your hubby, too (ever see Desperate Housewives?), so let him know you can talk about his loss feelings or empathy for you. As for anemia, I get that way too when dieting. Ask your Dr. about iron pills, spinach, red meat, red wine, and dark chocolate. You can also scream at The Force or life or alopecia through journal writing...then go have some chamomile tea. Many creatures molt or shed...and come out newer. Maybe its our spirits that go through the change, making us different, stronger, on the other side of alopecia.

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Permalink Reply by Libby on August 5, 2008 at 1:12pm

Great reply Bogie!!!!!

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