What are concerns from bald women, re. men who love bald women?

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Permalink Reply by kastababy on May 31, 2008 at 2:38pm

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it extremely interesting that even though we women want and need for a man to accept us just as they are, the moment we meet one that says that he is (and actually turns out to be as good as he sounds), we assume automatically that there is something wrong -- that there is a dark side that he is hiding???

What an interesting paradox!

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Permalink Reply by jmhalifax on May 31, 2008 at 3:50pm

Very interesting indeed, YoKasta!
I can say on my own end that the acceptance I have sought has felt strange when actually obtained.

Kinda like what Groucho Marx said-
something like
"I wouldn't join any club that would have me."

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Permalink Reply by Wayne on May 31, 2008 at 7:18pm

Yes, it is very interesting. Let me ask you this -- if you were a redhead, and a guy who approached you said he was turned on by redheads, would that be weird? What about guys who prefer blondes? Are blondes weirded out by that?

I don't recall where, but I once read a survey indicating 16% of women preferred bald men. I'm sure the % of men preferring bald women is much, much less (mainly due to bald women being uncommon) but the notion that some men would find bald women attractive doesn't surprise me.

Myself, I don't really care if a woman has hair or not. I don't think a bald woman is automatically beautiful, but I think any woman, through confidence and style, whether bald or not, can be beautiful.

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Permalink Reply by kastababy on June 1, 2008 at 1:30pm

If I had hair of ANY color, then I wouldn't be on this site having this discussion and wondering if it would weird me out, now would I?

If I had hair of ANY color, it wouldn't make a difference because then I would be considered "normal" and most men prefer "normal" women, so this entire discussion would be moot.

Men have been going bald since the beginning of time, and it's been considered normal since the beginning of time -- so the two are NOT the same. It shouldn't be surprising that some men would find bald women attractive, but because we live in a world where the male of the species dominates, in addition to living in a society of majority rule, then it is not surprising that the standard of beauty for the majority is what makes us all feel like crap a great majority of the time!

As I approach 30, I find myself consciously rebelling against what everyone thinks I should do, and starting to do what makes ME feel good -- I don't date anymore because quite frankly I don't LIKE the selection of men out there from me to choose from. I would rather live a lifetime of brief, meaningless affairs that I can control rather than live the rest of my life trying to sort out the phonies from everyone else. At this point in my life, I think that if I get married it is going to be more for the tax break that I get and the lower car insurance than it will be for true love. As time passes, I find I REALLY don't care if a man likes me or is attracted to me or not because of whether or not I have hair. I don't have to have a man's approval of my style or my look to validate me as a woman, I really don't. If that means that I never get married or never have children, really, would that be such a loss? I don't think so.

Sorry, my inner bitterness has come through -- I'll cut this short so I don't choke with it.

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Permalink Reply by Melissa on June 12, 2008 at 12:02am

I think it is weird because I would want a man to get to know ME and fall in love with ME. Only being attractive to certain features on a person doesn't make any sense at all. You might find that certain feature itself attractive, but you can't base your entire relationship off of it. I agree with Yokasta, being bald is not "normal" so when people say they are attracted to it, it sends off a little red flag. We are taught to question things that are not normal. Even in nature, certain animals will kick abnormal animals out of their groups (like albinos). But I don't think there has to necessarily be anything wrong with finding bald women attractive, it's just not "normal."

p.s. I'd rather not get into a discussion about things being "normal" or not. I feel safe in saying that if 2% of the population has alopecia, it's not normal. :) We just get into this argument where people think "normal" means "good" and it doesn't.

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Permalink Reply by jmhalifax on June 14, 2008 at 9:33pm

Thanks for your comments and insight, Melissa.

(And Cheryl, your term of "Filtering"- is great!)

I think it's important to consider...
There are standards for beauty in our Western society, both for males and females. But just because these standards exist, does that make everyone else who doesn't fit that unattractive?
Of course not.
Even the most narrow-minded person wouldn't say that.
Something for all of us to consider, if we didn't win the Genetic Pick 6. Anything can be attractive.

I also read something that I found interesting, from Dan Savage, who many of you know writes a syndicated sex column. Here's a link to the page:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=583177


This column particularly focused on people with disabilities, but I found some relevances to our discussion here. The sentence that really caught my attention here was this, in the response to the second letter-

"The more common a fetish is, the less likely we are to regard it as one."

Anyway...
I sure hope I'm not making this discussion worse! :)

I look forward to responses in Iamrj's new discussion, How NOT to treat a woman like a bald fetish.

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