Comment by Sue M on June 20, 2014 at 4:36pm

You have to do what is right for you.  I think that life is easier wearing a wig, but that is me.  No one is staring and people are easy to talk to... I guess I'm approachable.   Is it fair? No.  Am I hiding who I really am? Maybe.  But I'm more than just my hair.  Good luck to you.  There is no wrong answer.  

Comment by Nicola on June 20, 2014 at 4:43pm

Thanks, Sue!

Comment by Veronica on June 20, 2014 at 4:53pm

I wear a wig, but My mom wore wigs when I  was a kid and she didn't have alopecia.  A wig is like an accessory...I HATE going out with earrings... I feel naked.  Am I really naked? No, but that's how I feel about it. Am I hiding my true self for wearing earrings... No...I just love wearing earrings.  Do my earrings make me and others feel better? Yes... I get compliments on my great earrings all the time. Do you love having hair? Most of us would say,YES! Alopecia just coaxes us into wearing someone elses.  I don't see anything wrong with that! But YOU have to find your own peace. Know what you love and follow your heart. (I know this analogy is pretty simple, but you get my point)

Comment by Kat on June 20, 2014 at 4:55pm

I recently lost all my hair to Alopecia. It certainly is a struggle I can't say I'm totally comfortable with being bald. But I find wearing a wig to be uncomfortable like itchy & hot. I am very lucky though as my husband does not mind me being bald I NEVER wear a wig when I'm home. My friends are also extremely encouraging and tell me to go without the wig. Another problem is I no longer have eyebrows or eyelashes and to me it just makes it so much worse to try & look feminine. The best of luck to you!!

Comment by Sybil on June 20, 2014 at 4:56pm

Hi!

As a mom of an eight year old with alopecia, she's totally bald but still has eyebrows and eyelashes, I can say that Olivia is very comfortable without a wig and uncomfortable with a wig.

As an adult who lost your hair in adulthood rather than in childhood I can understand your termoil.

You have to do what is comfortable for you and not for what is comfortable for others. If they can't accept you for who you are, especially your mom..then that is their problem.

What makes YOU comfortable? Yes, people will stare and think you have cancer. Some may even ask, but don't let it stop you from being you. After a while you won't see the stares. We don't and neither does my daughter. This is who she is and this is who you are.

Just get out there and be yourself, whatever you choose :)

Sybil

Comment by Dorothy on June 20, 2014 at 5:16pm

For me there is no struggle, I will always wear a wig, have for more than 41 years now.  The only people who have ever seen me without one, is my kids and when they move out that will stop.  It is how I am comfortable.  I don't to spend the rest of my life explaining my lack of hair to anyone, ever.  My husband accepted me, but I do not anticipate other will be so understanding.  I had hair when we married and 6 months later it was gone.  Now that he has passed, I simply do not want to put myself in a position of rejection, so my lack of hair is my little secret and it will stay that way.  That is me, you have to look inside you and determine how much you want to expose yourself to questions from well meaning strangers.

Comment by Lucky on June 20, 2014 at 5:25pm

To wear or not to wear? I try to keep my life as normal as possible, I want to continue working and living as I did when I had hair. My hair didn't define me then,  and it doesn't define me now.  I say wear a wig! I think people may feel bad for me if I go out socially without my wig. I want to keep my life normal in-spite of this alopecia.

You do what is best for you. I choose hair. ;-)

Comment by Donna Alfieri on June 20, 2014 at 5:38pm

Try not to dwell on this so much.  You seem to be making a mountain out of a mole hill.   No one who is anyone in your life really cares one way or another.  Do what ever.  Find something to keep you occupied. Volunteer with those  less fortunate-nursing homes need visitors.  Make your life meaningful, you will see that this issue fades away as it should.

Comment by Brenna on June 20, 2014 at 5:40pm

Hey Nicola, 

Great questions!  I have alopecia universalis, have had no hair for 11 years, and don't (won't!) wear a wig.  I have lots of great hats to keep my head warm and/or shaded, but mostly I prefer to go bald.  I wrote an essay about my journey to come to terms with being a bald girl - that has my answers to several of your questions.  It is at: http://cedarmoon.us/baldnbold.html    I encourage you to read it - and to be your authentic self, whatever that means for you.  

bald & proud, Brenna

Comment by margaret watson on June 20, 2014 at 5:41pm

I totally agree. I wore a wig from age 25-40 - no one then went around bald, but as my confidence grew I felt that I was ready to go without my wig; (and my hair had started to grow a bit too), during 40-50 it went through ups and down but I never went back to wearing my wig at school (I'm a teacher)again. Eventually at age 50 the whole lot went, eyebrows and lashes too, but I had the confidence to walk tall (bald) and be proud of who I was and how I looked. I must say I felt complete and truly me rather than (I felt) hiding the real me under a wig. Having talked to many Alopecia sufferers EVERYONE is different and no one can or should tell you what to do. It is such a horrible and unladylike condition that I feel anyone and everyone who suffers this needs a medal. Eventually I feel totally at easy, in fact feel I should tell and show the world about this. No one understands how difficult (emotionally)this can be. I came through it - with enhancing personality qualities. I was lucky - it can go either way. My only wish is that others would do the same so I don't feel I'm alone - bald. Margaret Watson, Woodbury, Exeter, Devon

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