Reach out, youngsters, this place is marvelous, I wish I had such a strong support network back in my younger days!

Sometimes I think it's odd that I only post about my "other" problems.

I've had alopecia for so long that I should really be used to it, but deep down I'm not. At some level I accepted it and moved on with my life, but having this disease and lacking coping skills early on led me down a tortuous path. And in the back of my mind it still needles me a bit, being different, but then I look at the grand disaster my middle age is shaping up to be and I can't help but think that being hairless is the least of my worries.

I am so damn depressed right now I can't even think straight. My life at home is a hellish emotional rollercoaster. I want out. I want to find peace for myself. And the problems at home aren't all someone elses fault, I am far from perfect. But it seems like I'm the only one who wants to drive positive change, to make a real difference.

And I managed to accomplish a lot in the past year, even in the past few months, especially at work. I felt like I was back on track, things were looking up, all that jazz. It's hard to find solace in any of that though.

Ah well, I'm venting.

Anyone interested in adopting a paunchy, geeky, grumpy, middle-aged alopecian? With all that going for me I figure I'm quite the prize. ;-P

Views: 5

Tags: alopecian, geeky, grumpy, paunchy

Comment by Tallgirl on March 23, 2011 at 9:04pm
Just take on the attitude of others in your same condition here who have a sense of humor, and you just may find yourself "adoptable!" It is not the age, the shiny head, the geekiness or the paunch that counts...it is the attitude. Make a "man cave" at home to escape the rollercoaster, and put all your favorite things in there. What do you think...you can reverse age? No. But you can be young at heart. Just take today, this minute, and START OVER! Add a few more favorite things, and save for what will really be a treat for you personally. As for me, I think I am swearing off men!
Comment by Squonk on March 24, 2011 at 12:53pm
Thanks, Tallgirl. I have the whole man cave/workshop thing already. I'm not going to continue to try and "escape" as I have been, it's time to take the bull by the horns. Starting over will require legal complexities.

I am a work in progress. :-P
Comment by Tallgirl on March 24, 2011 at 3:00pm
Mine took about 9 years. But what actually, finally, gave closure was a Name Change Ceremony, very campy and fun, combined with a Wine Flight and recognition of all the women who got me through those divorce years. I planned the whole fun evening for a few years, and was able to close the story in a remarkable way. You WILL survive!
Comment by Squonk on March 24, 2011 at 4:50pm
Gosh I made the front page again! So I've got that going for me too! :-)
Comment by ken totman on March 25, 2011 at 12:16am
Sorry to hear that Squonk. Welcome to the club. Been there, done that. It sucks and I feel for ya bud. Sounds a lot like the end of my 12 year marriage. The reason she gave: I'm "not a happy person," and "chronically depressed." She also said I abandoned her and the kids when, as Tallgirl suggests, I retreated to the man cave. The difference is you seem to have foresight. I didn't even know there was a problem 'till it was too late. Maybe you still have time to work things out. Hope so. Good luck!
Comment by Henry on March 25, 2011 at 4:09am
Get eyebrow and lash permanent or tattoo...you feel much better...maybe some awesome tattoo to your scalp also...this could be your new beginning, if you have tattoos then people notice tattoos not your alopecia.
Comment by Henry on March 25, 2011 at 4:54am
Comment by Squonk on March 25, 2011 at 10:28am
Henry, I've been trying to figure out what tattoo to get for years, I start designing one and always toss out the drawing. Not on my scalp, though - my job is customer facing (IT geek) in a rather conservative environment.

Ken, thanks for the share. Oddly, it's *me* thats not a happy person and is chronically depressed, go figure.

stuck in the Babylon system - please elaborate? And - umm, interesting profile...
Comment by Tallgirl on March 25, 2011 at 11:43am
What grows is what we feed. So, stop feeding the sorrow, and start feeding the successful, likable parts. Pay yourself compliments, and create a photographic or object shrine on a mantle or shelf full of happy times and friendship reminders. Maybe your other will also be inspired by it.
Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on March 26, 2011 at 1:00pm
Squonk-hang in. We all have our "something". Don't give up on yourself.

On another note, I will guess you're a Steely Dan fan, with a profile name like "Squonk". "...have you ever seen a squonk's tears well look at mine...." a line from the Steely Dan song "Any Major Dude". Cool name. Great band. Give yourself a fantastical day, month, life!!!!!!!!!!!

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