In and out, costumers coming in, leaving, or walking through. I stare out the large window of the resturant. I probably have a look of great intense search for something. Yet really my eyes and nose are scrunched up merely because I want to see the snow flakes gracefully fall from the sky. "Hey miss, excuse me... yea you." Oh my bad, I quickly go over to their table and wait on them and remove thier plates from the table. Two guys about middle age I would guess, one of them slyly replies "Thanks dude." The other man smirks and says, "Ha, wow, I cannot believe you just said that to her."

Oh how I am used to it. It's odd how the mind can produce a thick skin after a long period of time. I start to feel nostalgic as I walk over to the tub and loudly drop the plates into it.

I used to work at a club. A night club with loud techno beats and a room filled with smoke and laughter. A night club with gogo dancers, mean bartenders, self absorbed women, insecure men, and college waitresses in need of money. I remember one night I made my rounds, time to hustle girl. Kiss ass serve people on the way to becoming comfortably drunk. This is when I used to have to look constantly, high heels, roll on make up, and pack in the product to my long, jet black hair. I have three days till my college tuition is due and I'm at the half way mark, let's do this! As me and another waitress perch in our corner as the ever watchful eyes of the club looking for cues of, head nods, fingers raised to the sky, credit cards waving, cold cash being thrown around, and empty stares... but then my vision is blocked by a young man. I take no notice until he is standing right in front of me. He had a glass of wine in one hand and a smoke in the other. He looked nice and had a deep French accent.
He politely nods at the other waitress and then focuses in on me.... wait for it. "Hey you look so beautiful and alone, I decided you needed some company baby girl." I was about to apologize and tell him, sorry mister me and the other waitress have a lot of work that needs to be done, but then I caught the waitress out the corner of my eye walking away. She left him staring at me, and me, with my mouth open. Aw crap.

I crack my knuckles, ok. You want the skae down, let's do this. "Oh it's your first night here? You like? Yes of course American women are beautiful. You Chinese? No. Japanese? No. Wow ok um Philipino? No. Dang give me something girl!" And then I feel a very nervous, trembling, sweaty hand on my thigh. I politely smile at him and grab his hand. "I'm sorry Jacque? Right? Yes, ok well I have people I need to attend, I'll have to talk to you later ok? You seem like a really nice guy."

Desperation flares in his eyes. I hate this type. Like a flash of light he grabs my arm, this guy has fast hands. "Baby we're just talking. You want me to tip you? How about this?" He slowly sips his wine but his eyes never break awway from me. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a twenty dollar bill and gently puts it on my tray. He then comes up to my face, extremely close, ew I can smell the cheap white wine on his breath. He whispers into my ear, "Hey what's your name cutie?" I smile and blankly look into the crowd... "Suzie".

"Oh come on you can't fool me! That's not your real name now is it. Anyways that's not important. Listen to me baby. I'm filthy rich. I'm only in America for today or I should say tonight. I goto different countries for a couple days just for the hell of it." Inisde I start to panic because;
1. I just noticed it's way busier than it normally is.
2. My section is starting to go to the bar because there is no waitress.
3. No one has really noticed my absence.
4. No secruity in sight.
5. Why the heck is this guy cornering me!

He leans closer now with his hand on my back. "You see baby, no sit down. Come on sit down don't make be mean to you. I'm nice I swear, please. I'm not controlling we're just talking ok come on we're just talking, now sit down. Don't be rude to me I just tipped you. Sorry I didn't mean it to come out like that. No I'm normally like this, I've had a lot to drink. JUST SIT DOWN, your making me nervous! How about this I'll let you go back to work but you have to come back to me you see. I could pay you so you wouldn't even have to wait on them but it's your choice. Or I could wait outside when the club closes so we can go get something to eat or go get coffee so we can get to know eachother better. Now go ahead and run along but come back to me ok?"

Listen Frenchy, get your hands off of me I think loudly but of course nothing comes out. He starts to move his hand up and down my back. Of course I jump off the seat and go wait on other people. Great my section is almost non exsitant because of him and all the ashtrays and tables are clean. So I sneak away to the security room but I can still feel him watching. I look behind and of course he waves back. I tell security to keep and eye on me please and tip both guys ten bucks. One of the guys yells in a raspy voice, "Anything for you, we just LOVE babysitting." Ok yea, for one bite me because it's your job.

Don't judge me to harshly. I was nice to him after I was groped all night long. I go back over to the bar and he touches my leg. "Hey sweets get me another glass of wine." Fine. Here. "That's uh $8.50, thank you." Again he hands me a twenty, as I start to walk away he grabs my waist. "Come on baby it's all in for fun, sit on my lap. Yea? No? Come here, I won't hurt you, unless you want me to. I'm kidding, tough kid you are. Come sit down." I grab a chair and sit. The owner swings by and to my surprise pats Frenchy on the back and tells me in a stern voice, "Suzie baby look after this guy ok?" Your kidding right?! The only reason why the owner does that is because he knows that they are high rollers and wants them to come back with thier rich friends and buy out the bar.

I start to seperate myself. I can here Frenchy in the background talking about absolute crap. I start to think to myself, well I have no one else because everyone else is pretty much drunk and are slowly down. I need money for school and security has been tipped off and praying to God that, they are actually looking after me. My face starts to soften, my shoulders square up, I hop off the chair and sit in his lap. You want to play games Frenchy... let's play. When you leave here your head will be spinning, you won't know where you are, or why you are here, you won't know who you just talked to, or what her real name was anyway. But lets get one thing straight right now. I am not a whore. I am not going to your hotel room after this. I am not going out to eat with you or have coffee. I am not in love with you. He then kisses my forhead. The strong potent smell of wine is making my head spin. And then the game began.

Oh Jacque, he stayed till 2am that night. We had talked he told me his dreams, his fears, his accomplishments. I barely said anything that night to him, yet he told me he already knew me! Oh yeaaaa that's right. But he really was from France, and really did like me. He really did want to save me from the God awful place. He really knew that I was broke college kid in need of money and that daddy never loved me.

Come on now. If your really knew me Jacque you would have never approached me in the first place. Dearest Jacque I played up your fanatasies and in end it helped me pay for my school that semester, so I thank you for that. In the end he knew all of it was ending before it even began. I hope he understands. I hope he also doesn't grope and force other women to sit down by pressing their thighs down. I never saw Jacque again. But that's ok.

I snap out of the daze because another waitress bumped into me. "Oh girl hold your chin up. It's ok those guys were losers anyways. They never tip." I look at her completely confused. She pointed at the table good ol fifty cent tip. Oh yea... that... That's enough for today.

Views: 5

Comment by Joy on January 31, 2010 at 5:44pm
Wow girl!! this isnt a blog...this is like a chapter of a real book!! you are super talented and creative. not everyone can express themselves like you...its amazing!!! In your spare time (like when i suppose?) you should try to write a book!!!
Comment by suzie on January 31, 2010 at 5:50pm
wow, thank you... that means a lot to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love hearing people's opinions about these things. Actually I thought I would come off as a mean, insensitive, and aggressive in this blog so I wasn't sure if I should put it up here! Anyways thanks again!!!
Comment by Alexandra on February 4, 2010 at 9:26am
Suzie, you have such a great talent for writing! I didn't blink once while reading this, haha. You should send your work off to magazines and newspapers or work for your university newspaper. You painted such a rich picture of the sad, phoney, gritty-behind-the-glitter club lifestyle. You are so much better than the trash that blows into those clubs every night. I've experienced so many guys like that and no tip is worth having to bite your tongue and lower yourself to their level against your will. I agree with Susan. It really is an illusion and you are far too talented. Don't sell yourself short. You're so much better than that.
Comment by Alexandra on February 4, 2010 at 9:42am
P.S. - When I said "trash" I didn't mean to imply that everyone who goes to clubs is trashy. I was just referring to the type you were talking about.

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