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Is it time to tell everyone?
There have been waaay too many problems at my school with my wig. I've dealt with it for so long, and I'm caught between just telling my school about AU or continuing letting them point and whisper. I'm just...scared of the little monsters and what will come of me telling them. Should I?? I have asked several people, and the answer is almost always the same. "Just do whatever feels right for you." Here's the problem: Nothing feels right for me. If I tell my school, it could go 2 ways. I could tell them, all goes well, and everyone just shuts up about my wig for once. OR, I could tell them, and everyone just thinks I'm an even bigger weirdo.... But now I'm starting to think it will go both ways at once. Some people will be mean, and others accepting. This school I go to is so...materialistic and cruel, that I get into phases where I think Whats the point in telling them anyway?? I don't want to risk getting picked on anymore than necessary, so maybe not telling them is the way to go. I have accepted my Alopecia. I just can't handle it when other people haven't. They make this big production about it, and we all know how much humiliation can come from the people who are curious about how much force it takes to pull a wig off, and what you look like underneath. IF I tell people, what do I say? It seems important to get the words right. More importantly, how? its not like I can just stand on a table and shout it....well, I could, but that would be extremely awkward. I don't know how to do this. And if I really should. Should I risk getting humiliated even more? Help?
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Comment by Mary on July 29, 2010 at 5:43pm
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Have you seen this video about a young woman talking about her baldness at her high school?http://www.alopeciaworld.net/video/annas-alopecia-2010
Have you seen the videos of Olivia Rusk?
Maybe these will help you.
It sounds like you're ready to just be yourself. From my experience (which is WAY past high school, so may not be so relevant) people get used to my baldness really quickly. I've found that if I act like it's not a big deal, other people react pretty much the same way. It's just who I am, and THEY can deal with it!
Another thing that might help you in explaining to people is mentioning the Miss America contestant, Kayla Martell (AW member) who publicly appears without a wig. You can say, did you see the news or YouTube videos about Miss Delaware - she has the same thing I do.
The first days will be hard, but my feeling is that once you get through them, you will just be able to get on with your life and you may even be seen as "cool" (or whatever the correct word for that is these days).
( ;-) Good luck!
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Comment by Tallgirl on July 29, 2010 at 9:45pm
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Sounds like you are trying to handle this alone, as most teens do. Why not get back up...like in the movie About a Boy, eh? Find a few people to be there as safety nets in case it doesn't go well. Make sure you can connect with them, be they from an alopecia support group, church, or some club. Plan an immediate movie or luncheon or sleepover for right after your first attempt at revealing the alopecia, whether it be just verbally or full-out visually. Amazing strength can be found in true friends. Personally, I never told a soul in high school, wore wigs, and kept my personal life for friends from other schools who I met at camp.
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Comment by Jennifer Krahn on July 30, 2010 at 2:07pm
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Hey Ellison,
Well I'm a high school teacher and I would think, just knowing kids, is that once you tell people you tend to dispell the rumours, and take away the power of those people who tease and ridicule. It demonstrates your confidence and beauty. Those kids who would continue to bother you, well I can tell you that they obviously have self-esteem issues themselves and like to bring themself up to a higher level by putting someone else down. There are always going to be mean-spirited people out there that like to put others down, but that is their issue and should never bother you. Granted, I totally understand your concern with your peers, but in the end you may be able to use our condition as a stepping stone to something bigger and better. Hang in there.
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Comment by Tiffany P on July 30, 2010 at 3:33pm
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I wasnt sure what to say because my hairloss started after high school but even with hair kids were a terror but i tottally agree with jenn and would go with what she says its better to just tell them that way if they still want to act stupid its now on them. i hope you figure it out soon dear :o)
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Comment by Ellison Jane on July 31, 2010 at 7:29pm
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Thank you so much for the comments! I think you guys are right. I should tell them and of course try my hardest to ignore the people who bother me...
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