Comment by Rose Marie' on November 6, 2008 at 12:59pm

Hi Brian

I'm sorry you are feeling a bit down. I can't talk for all women but I can let you know how I feel about men without hair. For me it means very little. My father had male pattern baldness forever, my brothers don't have hair and my daughter has AU. For me the thing I find most attractive about a man is his confidence, intelligence and caring. I understand it doesn't really matter what I think it's more to do what you think. So, the upshot is why do you think you are not worthy of being with a lovely lady. Do your best to work out what is stopping you from being you. I get that this condition is really hard but I believe you can move past it and so will all those around you as well. Be proactive in your dealings with people with what this condition means to you. That may help people understand your struggle and move you past this current glitch.

Take care

Rosy

Comment by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on November 6, 2008 at 9:40pm

Hi Brian-

Go easy on yourself because the road to feeling whole even though you feel there's something missing will have some ups and downs. What you're feeling is normal.

It takes a bit of extra effort and practice, but if you can zone in on the other person and try not to have self-talk worries in your own head, it may make it easier. I know, easier said than done.

And sometimes, just sometimes, rejections from dates just come out of nowhere even without having alopecia. There's no understanding why the things that happen early on in getting to know someone happen. Her behavior could possibly have nothing to do with you and everything to do with something going on with her.

Set your sights on the next one. Be natural. Be yourself. and good things will follow.

When I talk to new people on a day when I'm stark bald, I just carry on like it's the most natural thing in the world to be talking to a woman with no hair. Sometimes they don't recognize me...say it was someone coming to give a work estimate at my house. Maybe they met me the first time with hair or the first time without hair. I can't keep track. So if they look puzzled the second time I just say as nonchalantly as can be, " Oh, I'm having a hair day today. Or I'm having a no hair day today.." and just go on with the rest of the conversation like it was a normal thing to say. Which I hope for more people, especially women, it will be.

Thea

Comment by Alison on November 7, 2008 at 3:23am

go out with your mates and have fun and it will happen when u least expect it.

Comment by Mandy on November 7, 2008 at 12:55pm

Hey Brian. I'm sorry you're sad, but try not to be discouraged. Bald guys are HOTTTT! :o) You'll meet Miss Right when you least expect it.

Comment by Amanda Crouse on November 8, 2008 at 11:34pm

Brian,
You'll never get over felling like that. You just learn to cope. It's gets easier and easier the more that you forget about it. Some days it sneaks up on you out of nowhere, and you feel like OMG everyone is staring at me, then the next day it lesses a bit. You'll be ok. When you feel like that, act like there is nothing different. Walk around like you are Antonio Banderas and that the people are looking at you because you are that darn hot. Dillusion is not always a bad thing, it can be a coping tool. You know that you are attractive. You just forget it some days!!!

Comment by tamgirl on November 9, 2008 at 1:43pm

i agree with quit trying to meet or find someone. It will make u stronger and more attractive, well that is how i look at ppl. someone who dates alot and tries hard will make that person less attractive in my eyes.
Your perfect partner will come along when you feel totally relaxed and good with yourself.
Be good to yourself, you are not less of a ,nice and loving person if you dont have a partner. But maybe thats a Dutch way of thinking, heheh lots of singles here.

Comment by CSue on November 9, 2008 at 1:53pm

Don't give up, Brian. You're too young to resign yourself to being alone. You've already received some good advice here. Take on the attitude of your profile name ("I'm too sexy for my hair") and you will exude a confidence that will make others see beyond the hairloss.

Comment by Carissa on April 15, 2010 at 11:29am

Hey-I wouldn't get too worked up over it. If someone doesn't like you for your 'hair' that is hardly someone worth getting upset over. I'm sure that you, yourself, would much rather find a person who is going to love you regardless of what you look like, right?

And I think you're freaking yourself out. Dude, if she's with you and your looking at her eyes, SHE'S WITH YOU. That should be answer enough. If you ever have a self-confidence issue, cause we all have them, just as the person how they feel about you not having hair. It's a brave question, but since it's so honest and direct, that person will probably answer you. I think everything happens for a reason. And if you're not with someone right now, it's because you aren't comfortable with yourself yet, you know? I mean, how do you expect someone to accept you, when you don't even accept yourself? Just keep that in mind. But I think you're just having an off day. Feel better and good luck!

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