Frustration in coping and covering up

Hi, my name is Jerrod I am 28 and have been dealing with alopecia areata for about 1 1/2 years. It started with just a small patch of thinning hair that was not noticeable to anyone but me. A few months after I noticed that small spot I was getting my haircut and my barber noticed the patch, which was larger by then and totally bald, he told me about alopecia.

Since then I have been doing my best to hide the bald spot in hopes of spontaneous regrowth. However, the affected area has been slowly growing, is oval, and about the size of a XL egg so my hopes have gone unfulfilled :(. I do my best to comb my hair in a way that hides the spot which is located near my hair line above my forehead on the left side of my head. Most days I can get my hair just right and feel confident enough that no one will notice it but it is always in the back of my mind and I am extremely self conscious about someone finding me out. Two days ago I was trying to do my hair before heading to work and went through the normal motions. I don't know if I was feeling particularly low that day or what but I just couldn't get my hair to cooperate with me. I sat in the mirror adjusting and readjusting my hair shaping it reshaping it wetting it down using more product etc to get it just right. By the time I left the bathroom my arms were exhausted, my self esteem was rock bottom and my frustration level was through the roof!!! I actually stomped out of the bathroom at one point yelling and punched a wall (not hard) but that was TOTALLY out of character for me. I am so frustrated right now with this condition. I still try to hide this from my friends, family, and co-workers the only person I have really told about this is my barber. I have considered shaving my head, I have considered treatments which I have been told may or may not work, and I have tried just living with it. All of the options seem like they just SUCK!! I hate how little control I feel like I have with this, at times I really just want to curl up into a ball and cry which makes me feel worse... ugh. I really just want to feel normal again... I miss my hair.

Lastly I want to say thank you. After reading some other blogs and seeing that I am not the only one dealing with this I feel like I at least have a community that I can talk to about this aspect of my life so thank you for reading this and posting and being a part of this website :)!!! I couldn't be happier to have found this site.

Views: 164

Comment by MaddiiBoo on April 11, 2013 at 2:01pm

Welcome to AW, Jared! The people on this website have really helped me come to terms in accepting my hair loss. It doesn't mean that I don't want my hair back, but I have less said days in relation to my hair.

Have you been to see a doctor yet? Maybe they can help you find a way to treat your hair loss especially if you only have one patch. Good luck!

Comment by husker1984 on April 11, 2013 at 7:33pm
Thank you Maddi. I have not yet seen a doctor I have avoided accepting my condition for as long as possible :/. Just recently I did set an appointment with a derm but wont be able to get in to see them until June! So for the time being I wear a hat as often as I can and cover up my bald spot as best as possible when I cant. I am afraid to shave my head for fear of my bald patch showing worse than it does now and looking silly if I decide I don't like a shaved head. Anyway I really appreciate your reply.
Comment by SpartanKid on April 15, 2013 at 10:55am

Hi,i had the same happen to me small patch first, have u tried seeing a tricologist, they might help u, I would say try all things as early as u can

Comment by Dena on April 18, 2013 at 2:02am

I agree with MaddiiBoo. Go to the Dermatologist and try some treatments. The unknown is the hardest part. Everyone reacts different to treatments. Some people do react positively with certain ones. Not everyone with Alopecia loses all of their hair. If you don't see any positive results or find them to irritating there are some great companies that can help you with hair replacements. I am always amazed at how good they look. I was talking to a woman the other day who was wearing a wig and would have never known. I have known her for 2 years. She only opened up to me because of my daughters hair loss. We are getting a wig from Hair Club for Kids and I have seen a lot of men who look great in there. I also recommend trying out a support group. It helps to know you aren't alone. No one knows what it is like if they haven't gone through it. Family and friends can try to understand, but they really don't get it. Check back on Alopecia World when you are down and read about these strong, confident people. At this point we have decided to quit treatments. There is no shame in that. We just weren't seeing any results and we decided to just move on and focus on other things. But had we never tried I would have always wondered if we could have slowed this down. Good luck and I hope this is only temporary for you.

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