During the past ten years, there is one thing that I have learned about alopecia: change. When my alopecia first started, it was one perfectly round patch about the size of a quarter. That changed to multiple spots, which all grew back in. And then came back. And then went away in different locations, including most of one eyebrow. I lost my sidewalls about five years ago, and never gained those back. Then, the big blow came, universalis. No eyelashes, both eyebrows,body hair, and all my hair disappeared.

The hair was just the external change, but even more was going on inside. I had to learn that I couldn't control this and THIS was not the definition of me. Learning to care for wigs, match scarves, and pick out hats was only a means of dealing with the fact that I had to evaluate myself like never before. I had to love myself like never before, or I would not be able to escape all this unharmed.

Like many of my fellow alopecians, I had to learn the power of the word acceptance. And just when I finally did, things begin to change again. Once rid of the patches and actually enjoying the chrome dome, like the Terminator, they are back. Painful,red bumpy patches form and then fuzzy spots follow.

I hate it. It hurts. It is obnoxious. But I will not be terminated. I will pull out that beautiful word off the trophy shelf, dust it off, and redefine it. Acceptance.