Alopecia has now changed my life for the better - what about you?

Alopecia is one of the most emotionally devastating conditions, but it doesn't have to take over your daily life.

I have recently turned nineteen and I have now been suffering from Alopecia Areata/Totalis for five years. My first episode happened when I had appendicitis and although this was not the immediate cause it was one of the many contributing factors which caused the first bout of hair loss. At the time I was in the middle of exams at school which meant stress levels were high. Everybody says that alopecia is directly related to stress, but the nine other occasions over the years when my hair has fallen out has been at my least stressful times. One of the many emotionally draining factors of alopecia is the fact that there is no known treatment and no known cause. Every time my hair falls out, it seems to be under very different circumstances with no link between the episodes.

I was fifteen when i first lost my eyelashes, eyebrows and hair on my head. I was at school and i started wearing head scarfs and hats, and the hardest thing for me was telling my friends that my waist long hair was falling out and that all of the younger pupils in school assumed i had cancer. I will never forget a young boy coming up to me in the playground and saying 'i am sorry you have cancer'. Immediately i snapped and said i didn't have cancer, but if i saw someone else i would automatically assume that as well before i knew about alopecia. Getting through a school day back then used to be an achievement because i felt so low, helpless and unable to control anything anymore. Even at home i would only remove my head scarf or hat when i really had to - i was ashamed to look in the mirror without a head scarf because i felt so upset that one of my prides and joys was just failing on me.

I used to have waist long hair that i used to wear ornately and everyone used to comment on how beautiful it was. It was something i used to sit down on a Sunday evening after having a long shower and do french plates and buns ready for the next day at school. It was my pride and joy and I am so happy that I did not take it for granted and let it look a mess as many girls do now-a-days. If they understood how alopecia could completely change your life, i doubt they would be so careless with the way they wear their hair.

Five years on from the first time I lost my hair and I have finally accepted that there is no point in hiding from it anymore. I was fed up with people staring at me in a head scarf, i had just decided to embrace what was on my head, if anything. I recently started University reading Law and my hair had been growing for a long period of time, so much so that it was in a bob, then one term in and I lost it again. I thought i would not have to go through it again without the support of my friends from home or my parents, but i did and it has made me stronger.

I decided to walk into my Monday lectures with nothing on my head, just my new found baldness, everyone stared, but i knew they would, for the whole day they would and they did, but it felt like such an achievement. I then decided to have a photo shoot with a local photographer to record the moment i accepted who i was and i had stopped hiding from the world. It was a magical moment and I just wish it had come earlier on.

I never had anyone to talk to about my alopecia, my family were very British in the sense that a stiff upper lip and everything was alright. If you have the opportunity to talk about it to someone else who is going through the same thing, it will help you no end, i wish i had the opportunities where i came from to talk to someone. But to this day i have only met two people who have alopecia and one was in my last year at school and the other recently at university.

Alopecia has now changed my life for the better. I have found a new kind of confidence which no one else has because they have not faced the challenges of hair loss as a female. Everyone on my law course has confidence when they know what they are talking about but everyone has reservations about stepping out of their comfort zone, but i have lost those boundaries. I now go for everything with two hundred percent because there is no other way to do things. I cannot sit back and miss an opportunity because life is too short, you have to just take chances and sometimes they wont work and other times it will be the best thing you did.

Everyone always says, you are so brave, but no i am not, i am just accepting what has happened and deciding to get on with life. Those who have alopecia have a hard old battle but we all have to accept that it will happen and there is nothing that can be done, if you can accept that, you can then be called valiant and courageous for showing the world who you really are. I wish one day that i can find a way to stop this from happening to people because no one should have to go through what i have been through, especially teenage girls.

I wish every single day that my hair wont fall out again, but it is inevitable that it will, but there is still hope, and i don't mind any more because i know walking into a lecture theatre with half a head of hair shows to everyone that life goes on and gives them an image that they should all aspire to, I show them a strong woman and one who will not let anything stand in her way of life any more.

Share your stories, Share your pain, we shouldn't let alopecia win!

What is life like for others with Alopeica?

Views: 185

Comment by Jessica Hoschouer on March 31, 2014 at 7:58pm

Hi, I was first diagnosed with Alopecia Areata when I was five (back in 2005) It has been eight and a half years since then, nine in August. I started Jr. High last August (2013) I have yet to made fun of other then joking around and teasing from my friends, which by they way goes both ways. I tried out for the school play (didn't make it.) and Concert Choir.

I wouldn't be the happy positive person to day if I didn't have the amazing support of my friends, family and Mormon ward.

Keep Smiling Always- Jess

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