Hi Tanya

I just read your post on Sheila's blog. I had to answer you, I've copied the answer here as well. Just in case you didn't go back and read that blog. My intention is to try and help. Take care

Sheila's blog answer.

Oh heck - that's just horrible for your daughter. I'm going to tell you what helped with my daughter and maybe it will help you a little. My heart goes out to both of you. Middle school can be so very difficult for our children.

From what I understand your daughter doesn't feel safe in her school environment and you feel at a loss on how to make her safe.

The first thing I did with my daughter was talk to her about how she wanted to handle her alopecia. I see your daughter is prefering to wear a wig (which was also the choice of my daughter). As you can see her choice has not made the situation or alopecia areata go away. It still needs to be dealt with whether a wig is worn or not. After a lot of discussion we decided that we would educate her class and teacher about what was going on with her. No secrets - she had alopecia. I was helped by a lovely lady in NZ that had been dealing with hairloss for 60 years. She talked to my daughter's class explaining alopecia in a very matter of fact factual way. Then she went on to talk in terms of my daughter being everything she ever was and that she didn't want people to feel sorry for her or make fun of her - she was just the same but sadly had this condition.

This didn't stop all bullying , but it was clear to all involved that bullying on this subject was a very low thing to do and all the children became united in understandig the condition and just getting on with everyday school activities. They forgot that Libby wore a wig and she became her again.

If anyone did bully Libby under the teachers radar she was given permission to talk to the teacher and the children were talked to quickly. No fuss or fanfare just how it was to be.

What I believe about bullies is they usually run in packs - the good people feel intimidated and don't want to also become victimised - so eveything goes the way of the bully. So, that has to be stopped. Your daughter has to be told that she is not a tattle tale for getting help when people are cruel or underhanded. She needs to feel empowered to be able to look after herself and with the help of an adult this is possible to do. You both have the power to change this dynamic at her school and for her. School should be a safe environment for her to learn wonderful things - not a place to fear because she has alopecia.

I see you are a wonderful mum dealing with a really difficult situation. My comments here are in no way a judgement on what you have to do but just things that worked for me. Hugs for you both I understand how hard this is.

Rosy