Should you feel that you have to explain? NO but I do

A couple of years ago I was on holiday in the Dominican. One night,in the restaurant, the man on the table next to ours started asking me about my hair! Wig. He asked me how I had got it curly and if it was permed. I replied that it wasn't naturally curly and smiled hoping that would be that. But his wife kicked him under the table and apologised to me for her inquisitive husband. He told her 'shut up -you don't know it could be a WIG', enough was enough so I said 'well yes actually it is a wig'. He carried on asking questions, it dawned on me that it didn't occur to him that I was wearing it for a reason other than I fancied a new 'do' for the night. So, I then found myself explaining (god knows why) that I didn't have any choice and I had to wear one for medical reasons. In fact he was a hairdresser.

In my younger days I was extremely slim and strangers used to think it was acceptable behaviour to tell me how thin I was! I used to eat like a horse and would have to HATE explaining that it wasn't through choice. I doubt the same people would go up to obese people and point out how fat they are!

What makes people think it is acceptable to make comments to strangers about their appearance?

 

Load Previous Comments
  • Rose

    Rahab Rule: the biblical account of Rahab, who hid the spies. How are we to understand Rahab's misleading word's to the king's men who were searching for the spies? Lying? No. While malicious lying is wrong, a person is not obligated to divulge truthful information to people who are not entitled to it.

  • Rose

    just a note to Mark S. Hansen: I used to think it would be easier for a man to have AU than a woman, because it's "cool" for men shave their heads. But the downside is the lack of brows and eyelashes. WE (woman) can do a lot with makeup. Men don't do make up. (well, most men I know anyway).  So you walk about totally exposed, knowing people are staring and wondering. I walk around with people smiling and somewhat jealous that I look so good for my age. (I have a beautiful freedom wig... and good make up skills). I so understand you wanting everyone to know. It's odd, as want everyone to know.... and I have this huge secret that I don't want very many to know. Maybe you should wear a T Shirt that says "I have Alopecia Universalis.. Ask me about it!" And smile when people look at you. It makes a huge difference.

  • Amouna

    I remember one day at work
    I was working and Im using awig "natural hair " with nice quality and beautiful color, all my friends like it .
    At work there is women asked me it's your hair I said "yes" just I didnt want to give explanation,
    She touched my wig from front without excuse ! It made me so angry ...

    In same clinic I work it , my boss 2ed day . said ""it's wig "" with serious face . I said "yes"
    He said I know every thing about make up and wigs
    Because I worked as doctor for ""bitches"
    I can notice every things !!!! He said that because in my county almost girl who using wigs are " bitches ""
    He said this words without he thinks why I wear it !!!
    It's hurt !!