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Comment by Julie Koch on December 17, 2011 at 11:22pm

It's amazing what mental illness does to a person and their body. I also am anorexic and bulimic and the hair loss and seb derm are getting to me bad. I decided to take a healthy step and get back to chatting with friends on Facebook. I hadn't been on FB since August and being back on it was exciting. I have only been on it a week and am already feeling defeated. I see everyone else and how happy they are with their families and then there's me... Alone, scared, underweight and fighting hair loss. I just don't know if I can hold out much longer. How much can I really take before another major breakdown? I ended up in the hospital in August for suicidal ideas.. Any advice?

Comment by Figarosmom on December 6, 2011 at 10:08am

Hi Terri
Thanks for talking about what your experience has been like. I am writing things down now too and I think it is helping as well. I noticed something I wrote down last week that I had been thinking about for weeks, I stopped thinking about it. It works. Not as simple with the hair issue, but having one less thing to worry about helps. Keep blogging. I would like to hear how you are doing. Happy days are nice to hear about. They give us hope.

Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on December 5, 2011 at 1:33pm

Hi everyone..I too suffered many panic attacks and thoughts of suicide. Some of which I did act thru. Today Im thankful to still be here. It was alot of work, and I still couldnt tell you what my HA-HA moment was when things started to get better. Alot of it was finally accepting me and stop letting others dictate what I should be. As far as my alopecia went it was taking back control of what alopecia was causing me. For me it was shaving the last of it off, with that I stopped looking at the alopecia and started seeing me. The depression that always followed helped when I started writing things down. I hope that my sharing might help others, but I do know that we all have to find that course of healing that works best for them. Please check out some of my blogs http://www.alopeciaworld.com/profiles/blog/list?user=1ki8a6n99p0dq
Today Im happy and I work on waking up each morning with that feeling. But I know that not everyday is going to be like that. My demons are still there and I acknowledge them and try to work thru them.
Blessed be everyone

Comment by Figarosmom on December 5, 2011 at 12:00pm

A hello to this group. I found it by searching the word "panic" as I was thinking of starting a group to discuss panic disorder since it seems so many suffer from it on here. I like to get to the point.

Since my diagnosis I have been battling panic, depression and a suicide. Although the suicide is at bay thanks to drugs. But the panic is slowly coming back and I am now earnestly working on it. I just can't stand it. It's probably the worst part of all of this right now.

Let's keep talking and not shut down. I know some people are saying their posts are deleted. I hope this does not continue. Honesty is the only way to get help.

Comment by mmmm on November 2, 2011 at 11:02pm

Hi. Im sufferiing from depression and panick attack for about 10 years now. I recently got AA, and im wondering if my depression is somehow causing this. I'm also having martial probelm and prebably going to separating from my husband soon.

Comment by Cindie on July 30, 2011 at 1:37am

I'm depressed all the time because of the alopecia....I know that isn't much compared to what others are going through....

Comment by Julie Koch on June 15, 2011 at 8:37pm

I am not feeling the best. I have been really tired and not well. I think it's a side effect from an antihistamine my doctor put me on to help with the scalp itch. My scalp is hurting one day and itching the next and it is so annoying and frustrating because I never know what I am going to feel like day to day.

I am also finishing up my degree in Psychology and Sociology this summer. Pretty excited to be done. It's been a long road but it was always my goal to finish. I was hospitalized so much for the eating disorder that I had to take a few years off. Hopefully done soon!

I am struggling a lot with eating right now. My weight has dropped to 89 pounds and I feel sick and weak. I'm pretty scared. I have been inpatient about 8 times for eating and don't want to go back. I am trying to eat more but my thoughts and depression get the best of me. I know i could easily die from this and that scares me. I don't know how much more my body can take. I have been struggling with eating since the age of 12 (18 years).

Other than that I am ok! How about you?

Comment by Julie Koch on June 14, 2011 at 9:48pm

I just wanted to take a minute to welcome all the new members! It's great to see more people joining and sharing their mental health issues. Please tell us about yourself if you would like. We're all here with many different issues and you aren't alone!

Comment by Connie - Chris' Mom on June 2, 2011 at 10:27pm

I finally have my son back (most of the time). When his hair all fell out 2 years ago, in the summer between junior high and high school, he shut down. Not that I blamed him, he was dealing with a lot. That's also when we found out that he had Crohn's disease. I had tried mentioning to his pediatrician that I thought he needed something as he wouldn't even talk about what was going on. He didn't take the hint and I didn't push. Then when I was talking with his gastroenterologist I kept mentioning how he had shut down. She had noticed that he was getting worse even with her and started him on Zoloft. It took several months of increasing the dosage until we got to where he is today. He smiles again and is starting to talk about things. He has a project in his health class where they have to pick a disease and do a presentation. He actually decided to do it on Crohn's and is considering acknowledging to the class that he has it. Crohn's is thought to be an autoimmune disease and he is even considering mentioning the alopecia when he does his presentation. Even if he decides not to tell the class, I'm just so excited that he is, for the first time in these long two years, reading up on the conditions he's suffering from. He's asked questions and actually seems to be accepting things. I doubt any of this would have been possible without the medication. Now that it looks like he's beginning to open up I will try to find a good therapist that he can really talk to.

Comment by Julie Koch on June 2, 2011 at 9:55pm

Thank you Paul! I agree... I know they are just watching out for me and I DO give them plenty of reason to do so. I am just sick of the label of mental illness. I have a list of them as you have seen on this site. BUT, I am still able to make decisions. I am exhausted.

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