Dating

I was divorced several years ago before I got Alopecia which I have had for about 15 years. I really haven't dated for various reasons but recently a man at church has been showing some interest. At first I didn't reciprocate but lately I have been and he has asked me out. I wonder when and how I should tell him about the Alopecia, sooner or later, if there is a later. I don't want to encourage him if he would like to run the other way. He is a very nice man whose first wife died of Alzheimers and he treated her very well from what others in the church have told me so I'm not as concerned as I would be with another man but it still makes me nervous. She didn't have Alzheimers when he married her. I really haven't had to be too concerned about telling people about the Alopecia and only those close to me know for sure. It's not just about wearing a wig because it has changed my hot summer lifestyle. If anyone has any suggestions or encouragement I would appreciate it. I would appreciate your prayers too. Thanks and God bless.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dorothy on January 31, 2012 at 7:50pm

After 38 yrs of marriage and nearly that many years of AU I find myself at odds with the same question after my husband passed quite suddenly.

My answer is I probably will not risk the rejection. I thought for years that my husband would leave me and it got worse after each new doctor and each new thing they wanted to try but did not work. I do not think I can put myself thru that again. My husband NEVER rejected me, but I have never thought other men would have been quite so understanding.

Having said that, will I accept a dinner date from time to time, most likely yes, but will I confide about my AU, nope-not ever. I do not intend that any relationship should go far enough that it would be an issue. I NEVER let anyone see me without my wig on, not even my own parents when it happened and now not my oldest daughter once she moved out. The two that still live at home see me that way, but never again once they move out. It is like being nude to me, I would never be that way in front of my kids.

Even my present doctor has never seen me with out my wig.

I simply am a very very private person and consider my lack of hair as being not a topic of casual conversation. For those who can take the rejection risk, I say BRAVO for you and I am glad you can, but for me I will stay in hiding.

Permalink Reply by Cindie on March 19, 2012 at 10:23am

Iunderstand.........

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