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When people try to be nice (and fail)
Going through AA taught me a lot. One of the biggest lessons (although I already knew this---guess I need a reminder sometimes) was that I am not the center of the universe.
Who would have thought I wasn't?!?!??!
I'm just kidding. ;-)
Well anyway, despite what you're going through in life, it really only matters the most to you (because it's happening to you). Everyone else is going through their own struggles. Kind of like.... people aren't always concerned about how they feel about you. They are probably more concerned with maybe how you feel about them or better yet, how they feel about themselves.
There are people in this world going through all kinds of different things right now. Divorce, death, disease, etc. It's inevitable.
You may think you bear the world on your shoulders... but really, your burdens aren't even a drop in the bucket when compared with the weight of the whole big bad world.
The world doesn't necessarily care about you or what your going through.
You and the people who love you are the only ones who really care.
I never mind answering questions about my "condition." I think I've entered into the "acceptance" stage, but I struggle with my self worth/esteem as much as the next guy. I think being insecure is a fundamental part about being human except some people are better at masking it.
Sometimes I have someone try to be "nice" and they say something that comes off a little different to me.
I've had people say things like, "I feel so bad for you. I don't know how you deal with that. I would just FREAK."
I smile because I realize that they are just trying to be nice or honest or whatever. Although, a statement like that is pretty ridiculous, especially because staying at home and freaking out and feeling sorry for myself about my "condition" 100% percent of the time is totally in option..... not the one I want, anyway.
In my head, a snarky voice pops up and says, "I DON'T KNOW. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH BEING UGLY ALL THE TIME? IF I WERE YOU AND I LOOKED LIKE YOU, I WOULD JUST FREAK, TOO. IN FACT, IF I WERE AS DUMB AS YOU, I'D PROBABLY JUST DIE."
But instead, knowing I am not the center of the universe and perhaps I'm projecting a little, I just smile the condescending smile of Buddha.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tom on
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Good post . I thinks one of my biggest milestones to being OK with me as I am happened much the same.
I live in a small town. Big enough so I don't know everyone but small enough to run into people I know all the time. I was standing in line at a grocery store there were about five checkouts all with long lines. The woman in front of me turned around and said our son had a bald spot on the back of his head. We took him to a doctor and they gave him some shots and now it all grew back. She said very loudly we were terrified that he might have had the same thing you did and we couldn't stand it if he ended up looking like you.
Well my blood pressure went through the roof and then it hit me. What an idiot you would have to be to do that. I started to laugh. She said what's so funny I said you are your an idiot. She said a what I said your a God damned idiot. People from all the lines started to shout things at her. One lady said if your kid has anything to worry about its hereditary. She got so angry she pushed her cart to the side and left the store.
So there are people who say things not meaning to hurt and there are people wh are stupid. And you can't fix stupid. Remember when someone embarrasses you the other people there are wondering why someone would say something like that not about what's wrong with you. There are way more nice people everywhere than there are jerks.
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Permalink Reply by gldean1988 on
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Thank you so much for your story Tom!
I like what you said about smiling. You can laugh at someone, and they don't even have to know it. Although you called her an idiot, she figured it out lol. She must have been embarrassed. I don't think I'd have the balls to call someone an idiot even if they were being one lol.
I also like what you said about other people don't wonder what's wrong with you but that they wonder what's wrong with the other person for saying it. It's so true!
I think it's kind of ignorant and rude to assume that people laugh and harass people for "looking different."
Who says I scare children? Why would you assume something like that! Children freaking love me! :-P
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