Alopecia World
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Time to face the truth (loneliness)
The dating market sucks if you have AU. I am a 22 male and have only had 1 girlfriend back when I was 17, I met her online.
I've seen women interested in me sometimes, but it doesn't occur much. In the past five years, I can remember two cases (of which one was extremely drunk). Haven't even had as much as a makeout in the past 5 years, let alone getting laid. Started working out and gained 8 kilograms of muscle, kind of plateaued now. It helps generate interest, as long as my head is covered with a hat or something.
Is this what it comes down to? Conforming as much as possible to society's beauty standards by dressing well and being muscular. Even then, I'll probably be at the same level as a regular dude on the streets who does not spend much time on his appearance.
Lately, I haven't even bothered to look at women anymore, or flirt with them. I also quit viewing pornography. Because of this, it has really sunk in at how much of a disadvantage I am. Writing this makes me feel sad, pain in my chest. Perhaps it has always been there, and I had never dealt with it.. only to have it resurface now.
I'm kind of at a loss. I will keep hitting the gym, for shallow yet realistic reasons (that doesn't bother me so much).
How do I increase my chances of finding a partner? I want someone to share my life with, especially now that I'm on the right track. Active and a straight A student in IT field.
I could write a lot more, but this pretty much sums it up.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Amanda Banana on
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Just wanted to say Hey!
I never really thought about it before. How hard it could be on you. I always kind of thought that men could pull it off easier as I knew some that Bic'd their heads anyways lol I felt that girls had it worse cuz we are women, we're supposed to all have full luxurious hair. I feel like the worlds gotten harder, more focused on what we look like, and social media only makes it worse. I know too many people who post DAILY selfies, for likes and reassurance that they're hot. Anyways, I don't wanna turn this into my own little rant lol ttyl :P
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Permalink Reply by Sad1995 on
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No woman under 30 wants anything to do with a bald man. I guess most women lack so much self awareness that even though you see a lot of bald men out and about you never realize that you nor any woman your are friends with actually ever dated them. Most young bald men are chronically single
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Sad1995, I don't think it ever bothered me. But I'm not really that materialistic girl that I've seen you describe in another post somewhere lol
I would rather have more things in common with a guy than him have a full head of hair. Bald men can be really hot, especially if they like to go to the gym with me, hike, eat alike, camp. Things we can enjoy together.
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Permalink Reply by Sgonzales on
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Hi nice to meet you guys , I honestly feel I have found the right person because they understood my ALOPECIA. I shave my head and my boyfriend loves me either way.I've tried too hard to hide who I am and what I look like , I finally love myself after a year of depression letting alopecia run my life. It boils down to what your looking for in a woman. I feel like
Hair does not define us and a man that won't date me because of hair is shallow and I wouldn't want them in my life anyway. I've gained a confidence and used my illness to help others as a nurse. Once I let go of the hair and realized there's nothing I can do but live a healthier life it stopped running my life and I met someone . I've always been honest with dating and friends and the support is there . Focusing on your standards for a women is something that needs visiting, who are you choosing to date, are they accepting? That's what matters not hair and not being alone. I am healthy, I lift and I'm educated, there is some much more in life than alopecia. Message me if you'd like to chat more. Hang in there
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Permalink Reply by cruise on
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I concur with the OP, its next to impossible to find someone. People always look at me differently and to get a girls' attention you have to be unique which is even moreso difficult when your confidence is shattered and social skills suffering as a result. Its hard to see people around us going out, having relationships, getting married and just enjoying life. Its painful. If you were with someone before Alopecia you can make it work, but once you've got it, its damn right hard to find someone. Dating sites are brutal - girls don't even respond and in some cases block you. In daily life seeing the girls you like with other guys is just horrible. The stress is unbearable sometimes.
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Permalink Reply by Little-Link on
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Have you consider micropigmentation ? I did , it look great and i don't have to worry about people thinking i'm sick. People are not confortable with what is different or what they can't understand at the first look but they feel it when a person is confortable with how they look and are confident. It's not easier when you are a woman but when you decide to accept how you look people react positively ( it's sounds clicher i know but it's true ! ).
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