Need support

Hi
I'm AU been for 20 years Now 43. I have an 18 month old little girl. My worst fears might be coming true. She is having diffuse hair loss. Derm. Says maybe telegen effluvium or diffuse alopecia areata.
My heart is breaking. Can not sleep, concentrate at work. Stop crying. I'm a mess. I feel so bad!Guilty that I might have given this to her. I debated about having children for just this reason. I didn't want my desire to be a parent make someone have this disease. I'm so afraid she is going to hate me for giving this to her. Also I feel terrible when I think I rather have a child with hair. Not because it makes her a better child but because it's just easier. Just watching each hair come out I worry more and more for her future. Will she make friends, will she love herself, will I be able to protect her. Will I be able to Handel everyone's questions? I wear a wig. Mostly I blend in.
I obsessively try to convience myself that this is normal hairloss. So far the doctors have not been helpful. They just say we have to wait and see. Ugh!!! I want to do a biopsy but don't want to put her through the pain. Plus they do not always work.

Any advice from parents with or without AA that have children with AA would be helpful.

Thanks for reading my post.

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on October 15, 2014 at 3:04pm

Hi

Take a breath and do your best to get this into perspective. This is sad, but you and your daughter will be ok.
I know a few mum's and daughters who have alopecia and it can be difficult to navigate for each of them. I think the first thing you need to do is work on yourself. Why are you feeling so frightened for your daughter...how are you coping and dealing with your hairloss for yourself. What are your concerns around this and what are your realities.
If you can work on you and work through some of your own fears you will be better equip to be the positive role model I'm sure you want to be. Your daughter needs your real knowledge and skills around dealing with hairloss. Your fears and upsets while very real need to be put into perspective so you can help her to be all she needs to be while showing how you can also do this for yourself.

I don't really get the 'blame game'. My daughter has alopecia, crohns, eczema, asthma and anaphylactic food allergies....I don't have alopecia, neither does my husband or son......I don't blame myself for the issues my daughter has to deal with. All of her conditions have a genetic component....I wonder who gave that to me...maybe if we are going to place blame on someone it should be great granddad :). What I do know through my experience with my daughter is she didn't need to know where or what caused her illnesses....what she needed was practical support on how she was going to deal with them and have the best life possible.
If I can be of any support feel free to friend me and I will do my best to help you and your daughter.

Rosy

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