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Permalink Reply by Ashley Garrett on March 5, 2010 at 7:36pm

i was seventeen when i told my boyfriend( who is now my fiance of 5 years). i explained that i had an auto-immune disorder that causes me to lose my hair... and i said some other stuff that i can't seem to remember lol.... when i told him he was totally cool with it!! i was so worried about what to say and how he would react. i planed this big speech and everything so when he said " so what its just hair, at least you dont have something more serious wrong with you" i knew he was the one for me:) i would find out if your boyfriend is serious about your relationship before i told him something so personal... if he is, he will be fine with it!! if he isnt okay with it then you dont need to be with someone so closed minded who doesnt love you for YOU not your hair.. or lack of.. i hope this helped and i wish you the best of luck! this was the hardest thing ive ever had to do!!

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on March 7, 2010 at 1:08pm

Hi

I think this is one of those real challenging times for a young woman that has alopecia. What Ashley has advised is great, but I'd like to add a little more from my experience.

I don't have alopecia but my daughter does and this became an issue for her at 17 as well. Like you she chooses to present herself in a hairpiece. Her boyfriend knew about alopecia and this was done with the support of our family and my daughter being involved in conversations where education on the subject took place - this naturally lead to the emotional side of alopecia which helped open up the conversation so that my daughter and her boyfriend could carry on the dialogue in private without us. This worked very well for her - so if you are close to your family get them to help you initiate some of the conversations that may help.

They have been a steady item for the last two years and both seem happy and secure in the relationship they have formed. My daughter often goes without hair around her boyfriend and of course with us (her family). He totally loves her (and really why wouldn't he - she's lovely as I'm sure you are). Just remember even though alopecia is something in your life that should never be denied - it most certainly isn't your defining feature either. You are more than your condition - you are all the fab things that make you the person you are (including alopecia of course). You are very worth being loved with or without having alopecia that would have been the case, don't ever forget that fact of life.

good luck with the discussions I'm sure you will have.

If I can ever be of any further help (hopefully what I have said helps LOL). Just pop in and say hi to me.

Take care.

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on March 7, 2010 at 1:35pm

my husband says guys dont care about that stuff. He even forgets that I wear a wig, unless its not on... lol. but, he sayd he just doesn't even think about it! :)

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Permalink Reply by Devin on March 7, 2010 at 1:56pm

Looking at this from a guy’s perspective. I think you should tell him as soon as possible otherwise it becomes this secret that you are keeping from him and if he no longer wanted to see you again then you are able to find out what type of person he is and that would free you up to find that other guy who would love you for you. Mr. Right can not find you if you are with Mr. Wrong and give your current boyfriend the benefit of the doubt; he might not only be O.K. with it he might become the support that you need. Whatever happens I wish you the best of luck!

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Permalink Reply by Gail M on March 24, 2010 at 9:29pm

I think Susan is right. He probably knows, doesn't care. He obviously cares about YOU! Get it out in the open and enjoy yourself instead of worrying about something that will be insignificant in the relationship.

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Permalink Reply by Charity on March 24, 2010 at 4:38pm

I was also really worried about telling my boyfriend about it and showing him my wig. My boyfriend was like Ashley's. He said "who cares? It's hair. I love you, not your hair, and at least it's not something seriously damaging to your health"
If he has a problem with it, the relationship isn't worth it. If someone can't accept you, they don't deserve to be in a relationship with you. We've been dating for almost a year now, and he's the most loving boyfriend, and has no problems with it. He kisses my bald head, and tells me I'm beautiful :)

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