This was me six months ago. 

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The skin is where I had lost hair. It started in March and reached the worst point in July. I shaved it in July, and started steroid injections in September.

Now this is a picture I took yesterday. FB%20Progress.jpg

During that time, I read all kinds of literature on alopecia, including posts on this site. 

Over and over, I've heard people say how unattractive they feel when they're going through their problem. 

It breaks my heart. When I was going through mine, at first I wrote a wig all of the time. But then, I realized I had to take the wig off and face the world and mostly myself. 

When I started my steroid injections in September, I had to accept the possibility that it might never grow back. I had to accept the fact that I might be a bald "weirdo" forever. I had to deal with the weird looks and the judgement of people who didn't know my situation. "Why'd you do that to yourself?" But for the most part, I saw people be kind and compassionate. 

When I had no hair, I really had to look myself in the mirror. I saw what was attractive about me. For those of you going through this, I hope you do this for yourself. 

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It has truly been a journey filled with growth and self discovery. About a month before the handfuls of hair came out, I recall sitting on the couch with a friend and saying, "I just wish I were a little more attractive." And then all of the sudden... I really had to come to terms with low self-esteem and the pain I felt inside from it before I lost a strand. I have to say being bald forces you to be confident. It forces you to walk different. I had to be like, "Yeah. This IS me. I'm fine just the way I am." It's something I think you'd have to go through to really understand.

Low self-esteem is the first form of abuse we put ourselves through. We are cruel to ourselves. When we don't value ourselves, we allow things and people into our lives who also don't value us. Our internal world is reflected and is externalized.

Needless to say... whether you are bald or whatever... you are beautiful because you are you!

If you have love in your heart, you are beautiful.

I just wanted to reach out to this community and say there's nothing wrong with you. 

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I want to say that I thank you so much for this. Even though I'm not alone in dealing with this condition sometimes in my world I feel like I am the only one because I'm surrounded by people who have these beautiful heads of hair. I still find myself looking in the mirror and either being totally disgusted by what I see (which is most of the time) and other times I look and I try to tell myself that with or without hair I'm beautiful even though I feel like I don't really mean it. This condition, for me, has been really debilitating. My confidence has did a total 360. I think I'm so afraid of being judged when I go out without my wig. I just wish sometimes that I had the confidence to walk out the house and feel beautiful without my wig on. But as you said this journey has been filled with growth and self discovery..I hope to one day look in the mirror without the makeup and drawn on eyebrows and tell myself I'm fine just the way I am. It gets really hard and I feel like I get depressed everyday but it most definitely is a journey and a long hard process. 

Again thanks so much for sharing. I hope you don't mind my venting. 

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