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Alopecia getting me down
Hi everyone im 24 and had alopecia since i was twelve have very little patches of hair here and there and it is soooo depressing but i try not to think about it as i wear a hair peice. I got my mother to shave it all off yesterday as she is the only one i feel comfortable showing my alopecia too i cried bucket loads and couldnt stop im the same today my parents are trying to be positive about it but i have just had enough i can't take anymore i feel helpless and dont know what to do people say they understand how i feel but in honesty those who dont have it have no idea and then im surrounded by people all day who do nothing but go on about their hair :-(
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carmen Dayhoff on -
Bigg hugs to u this morning.We do understand and r here for u on forums.Do allow those round u to comfort u.Ppl who don't hv it can still b empathetic.They love u n' want to help the best they can.
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Permalink Reply by Petra on -
Hi Somaaya, sorry you are going through a ruff time right now - been there myself so I know how you feel. It sounds like your parents are very supportive, have you tried talking to them about how you feel? I know that it is hard for others that do not have this disease to understand what we are going through but that does not mean that they can't support us. Sending a big HUG your way ((((((0))))))
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on -
Being OLD, I can say that, in retrospect, I was more depressed about alopecia when I thought it might mean I wouldn't be loved. Granted, my hair grew back ages 22-35, and I got married and had kids during that time. But now that I am single again, I realize that hair loss did not affect my ability to go to college, start and change careers, travel, paint, grow vegetables, cook meals, have parties, watch movies, drive, dance, teach, shop, eat, celebrate for others and self...the ONLY things affected were attracting men who cared only about looks, swimming, and maintaining composure on windy days. Girlfriends stayed. My birth family stayed. So...change the things you can. Surprise yourself in other areas beside natural hair...and double your efforts in those other areas to exceed beyond your dreams (and beyond the skills of others who would condemn...revenge by success!). You will have a ton of stories for your old age...and the others will just have strands of hair, which will get uglier far faster than your creative choices!
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Permalink Reply by Somaaya on -
Thanks for the reply guys its very good to know that I can at least talk about how I feel on here as you all obviously understand. I do stay positive most times in my life but sometimes it just gets too over whelming and then it hits me hard like a tonne of bricks I know its not life threatening but its still important to me. I don't normally tell anyone how I feel not even my parents that was a one off because my dad gets upset if he sees the Alopecia he doesn't show it but so my mom says and my mother well she is supportive that I can say oh well I'm feeling much better today and I guess I just gotta accept I'm not going to get my hair back so might as well live with it and enjoy life :-)
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Permalink Reply by Karen's Wigs on -
First, you're absolutely correct in no knows how you feel but people want to say something rather than ignore your pain. Emotional pain comes in many different shapes and sizes - your's is alopecia - mine is epilepsy and other people may have their own so in effect, they know you're in some sort of pain . You deserve the very best life has to offer and you should not let alopecia deny you that reward.
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Permalink Reply by Cynthia Lee Watkins on -
Dear Somaaya:
I am so sorry to hear about what is happening to you. As someone who has dealth with alopecia areata for 25 years, I know that people can be incredibly mean and cruel, if not downright thoughtless. I'm glad that you had your mother shave your head....it takes bravery to do that (I didn't do that until about two years ago). Hopefully, it will get easier for you to look at a clean shaven head as opposed to patches of hair here and there. You look absolutely gorgeous in the wig you are wearing.....
When people go "on and on" about what is on their head, I generally go "on and on" about what is IN my head.
Peace and Blessings to you.
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Permalink Reply by Anna Thomas on -
Im sorry you're going through this, girl... If you believe me, I know how you feel. I spent weeks crying everytime I had a split minute by myself. Still catch myself doing it now!! Wish I could give you a hug... sometimes you just got to let it all out!!!! Personally, it took a few weeks, but for some reason, the all bald look is not as emotionally hard to look at in the mirror as the patchiness and bald spots n all that... Here if you ever wanna talk ;)
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Permalink Reply by Somaaya on
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Thanks so much its really good to know that their are ppl out there that understand
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Permalink Reply by Roslyn on -
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I agree with Anna the bald look is much easier tohandle than the "patchy" spots of hair. I wish I could tell you it gets easier everyday but it doesn't. I'm glad you have your parents their with you it does help to have the love and support of your family.
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Permalink Reply by Shereka Moore on -
I'm glad that your mother helped you shave your head. I wish I had the strength to do the same thing. Maybe one day I will get there. How many of your friends or other family members know that you have alopecia. Having a support group of people you know personally helps :-)
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Permalink Reply by Somaaya on
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Well all my family know but I don't like to talk about it with anyone to be honest with you I do have to say I have a very supportive boyfriend who is very comfortable with my alopecia the only problem is I am not comfortable around anyone with my alopecia....
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Permalink Reply by Diana Caruso on -
LIsten my sweet little angel..........I totally understand........and my son within 3 months lost all his beautiful curls......it was tough for him, but very much more for me, actually I don't know who it was worse for, but the point being, I understand.......but you also need to remind yourself that YOU ARE NOT YOUR HAIR!! did u ever think that GOD has a plan for you and for your life.......and for everything there is a reason.........when I was your age.........I was totally alone.......my MOTHER ONLY NEW TO TEACH ME TO HIDE IT.........so then what?? what?? did that mean I had to hide who I was.........?? I never really realized who I was until my son lost his hair in grade 8....getting ready to go the high school.........but he had soooooooo much support, and I'm sure you do too....and now you've got me, so YOU HAVE NO CHOICE........lolol....you are and will be okay...take one day at a time....you are NOT alone.........we ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU........k.....?? hugs and kisses..........besides, guess what GOD has placed on my heart?? ready for this........I AM WHO I AM........and so therefore.....I AM GOING TO TAKE MY LOVELY CURLS OFF AND START MINGLING WITH PEOPLE.....OF MY OWN KIND....BALD AND BEAUTIFUL....dear Lord, how do u think I feel thinking about it?? Obviously, I'm scared.......but I won't dwell on the NEGATIVE and especially those negative thoughts....itsssss all goodddddddddd.....and it will be all good......we can both do this.......by the way.........my son Gasper, being in grade 8, let me tell you......he REFUSED TO SHAVE whatever of the hair he had left.........it killed me in my heart to see him like that because I had no choice to be honest and tell him that he looked WORSE than better........the family got together and put in money to purchase him a wig and he REFUSED......by the grace of GOD....and I was stunned, because I always taught him that if he and I walked down the street ....who would people look at....u OR me.....and he knew.....ME, because SOCIETY thinks a woman should have hair......says who?? society....u don't need to be around people who don't understand.........let them deal with their own "retardedness"...hahaha, I don't even know if thats a word...point being.........YOU CAN DO ANYTHING U PUT YOUR MIND TO..and my SON and I are living proof......it may feel awkward in the beginning.......but I know u'll get the hang of it......u must come to the point of accepting......truly, my belief is....WE OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ALOPECIA.....or any choice as it is an unpredictable disease.......but guess what? YOU AND I BOTH HAVE A CHOICE TO ACCEPT IT ALL AS IT COMES, ONE DAY AT A TIME......I can see it now......you spreading your wings and soaring like an EAGLEEEEEEEEE>...you go girl......
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