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Permalink Reply by Tony on February 19, 2010 at 5:39am

Three years into the clean shaven look has provided some interesting insight into dating. I see my lack of hair as a filter if you will. If a woman balks or hestitates because of my appearence (one went as far as saying that I looked 'too scary') then she isn't worth my time. That said, I find that I spend more time getting to know a woman...and letting her get to know me, before asking her out. But I see that as a positive as any relationship which does develop tends to focus on what's inside rather than out.

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Permalink Reply by Hilary on March 18, 2010 at 1:46am

because i dont wear wigs guys notice straight away, i just want people to think im actually beautiful and not just because im fine with having no hair. I want them to think im beautiful inside and out!

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Permalink Reply by Crystal Crochet on April 15, 2010 at 12:13am

I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata at 8 yrs old and then developed AU by the time I was 9.
I'm about to turn 36 years old. I have had Alopecia Universalis for over 27 years.

I was basically tortured by the children in school and grew up scared to death to tell anyone about my Alopecia. I don't remember most of middle school. I eventually made it to High School and went to a very good school that was Louisiana State University High School. At that time I was able to catch up and adjust to people treating me almost normal. I still kept my Alopecia a secret until I went to college at Tulane in New Orleans. At that time decided I wanted freedom from the fear of others judgement more than anything else. Slowly over the next few years, I forced myself to open up to others about my Alopecia. I was determined not to be ashamed, fearful, tortured, or insecure about my hairloss. It is still a constant process today.
I find that the more open, honest, and educating I am about it the better the reaction will be. I am still scared to tell people because I fear I won't be accepted or I'll be considered damaged goods. In dating or employment situations it seems the most agonizing to know when to say what. What I have found is, that if I am confident and secure in revealing my Alopeica then the other person will also be. When I'm scarred or insecure then they will adopt more of that into their feelings about me and my Alopecia.

I've had dates that turned into ***holes after I told them. I've also had dates that told me they don't care; they were dating me because they liked me not my wig/hair.
You will go through some bumps in the road in dating if you have any form of Alopecia. Even people w/ full heads of hair have dating troubles. I just hope to find the right person one day who can look beyond the surface and find the beauty in me. I'd want to find that person whether I have hair or not.

My basic belief is that God has always sculpted me to be who he needs me to be. I may not know what his plan is but I do know he has one for me. He puts what we must have; hurdles, hardships, disabilities, pain, loss, fear, joy, love, extacy, freedom,& friendship.....; in our path to create the person within us that he needs us to be for his plan.

I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't lost my hair 27 years ago. I am a person with Alopecia Universalis, but I am Crystal first. My Alopecia defines me in some ways but it is not all of me. If someone I go out on a date with doesn't like the idea of my Alopecia, then he doesn't need to take me out for a 2nd date. I just move on and say, "next!"

I'm still fearful in social situations, and worry what members of the opposite sex will think. I now find more and more that if I concentrate on people that I have good chemistry and good conversation with then it will lead to a more rewarding positive dating experience. A good plus is that I like guys who are down to earth and not into high maintaince lifestyles. If someone is too wrapped up in his own looks, his car, how others percieve him, or how good you show next to him,.......then time to drop him for someone who's full attention is on you and how you two are relating to each other.

that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Crystal

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